h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sterling stuff, mate. I'm thinking of emigrating (eventually), and it's always nice to find information about the place which further motivates me to doing so.

I'm glad I could help.

If you want any more information on Australia/Australians, why not drop over to the Aussie researchers home on h2g2.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/A592049

I'm sure we'd all be more than happy to point you in 12 different directions at once. Confusing people is what we do best.

No no no, the aussie researchers page can be found by going to your fridge, extracting a cold beer, drinking it while spinning round in circles, then chasing the cat through the house for half an hour. *then* go to A592049.

Trust me

I don't own a cat..... So how did I find it????

Do you hhave a turtle?

Well..... no!

But I'm sure I could hire one for the weekend.

sounds like a plan!

What exactly do I do with this turtle once I have it? And remember that I'll probably have to put down a deposit before it leaves the Animal Rental Shop.

Chase it round the house, of course! If it's night, it may help if you melt a candle stub to its back first.

But what if it's a really really fast turtle. I might never catch it and then I'll lose my deposit!

hmmm.

Close all the doors and windows, and make sure you don't get a hare at the same time. You should be right

Crickey!!! This place'd be like a menagerie. The little buggers might bite me. They're viscious when they're cornered.