h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Finally, I find saviours.

Having seen and been through too many knights with rusty armour, I feel I have found my home with thee.

Hopefully, thy discernment and wisdom shall prevent me from needing the olde rusty can-opener.

Also, I fear that thee olde chastity belt is getting a tiny bit irksome!

This is particularly so since the key was lost on mine love in the crusades and the valient one left no replacement. Woe is me.

I would be eternally grateful for any help that thee could give me.

Yours in distress,

Jane

This seemeth like our sort of damsel!

Ladies! Hath the royal skeleton key come back from the cleaners yet?

::Lady Shea enters, followed by her trusted Lackey, who is bearing a wheelbarrow full of keys::

Methinks thou may findest a replacement here, Lady Jane!

My greatest thanks I offer thee.... thou hast saved me from a cruel and most uncomfortable fate.

I fear that the blisters were becoming more painful by the day, but thanks to thee, freedom shall be mine.

I am earnestly hoping that the agony I have been through will have taught me a lesson.

No more rusty knights!

I feel that, should I decide to make use of my new found freedom, I shall look for a Knight who carries with him ye olde can of polish and a duster.

Before I forget, I must tell thee that the key to my freedom was the royal key of SMoB that must have been mislayed on its way back from the cleaners and ended up in Lady Shea`s wheelbarrow!!

What a stroke of good fortune!

Thank thee from the bottom of my heart.

Lady Jane, taking her leave breathing many sighs of relief.

Ah, 'tis what the Octagonal table existeth for, Lady Jane. Wouldst thou consent to take thy place with the other ladies at the table? Methink we can find a knight who oileth his armour on occasion to woo thee.

Twould be an honour indeed to be sitteth at the table with ladies of such character. I accept thine offer most graciously.

I would be most gratified with your offer of assistance in locating a Knight who oileth his armour.

As you are aware, thanks to your assistance, I now have my freedom and would look forward, most avidly, to being wooed.

Tis important to not only findeth a Knight whoeth keeps his own armour well-oiled, but one that shall keep his Lady well-lubricated as well ...

The Lady Shea speaketh great words of wisdom and this has only confirmed to me that my decision to seeketh thy wisdom was the correct one.

Only a Knight who carries with him a great number of oil cans shall be considereth by me!

I truly hopeth that thee can findeth me a Knight who is also prepared to work hard to well lubricate his lady.

Having just been released from ye olde chastity belt, I fear that mine own lubrication may be too eager.

I shall trust to thy judgement as regards a Knight worthy of mine attentions.

My future destiny is in thy hands.

Your exceedingly grateful,

Lady Jane

Doeseth this meaneth we needeth to find a suitably suitable knight for Lady Jane?

The Lady Shea is wise beyond words.

I have been perusing other links and I have decided that I may joineth the campaign to re-name the day of Thursday.

I feel that this be an excellent idea as Thursdays are indeed a time of trial on occasion.

My home being generally invaded by my male offspring and their peers.

I shall take my leave for now in order to regain the composure that was lost due to last eves events.

Fare thee well for the present


Lady Jane.