h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good News I've applied for imigration to Australia.
Bad news it would cost almost $500
Drats. you would think they would show compasion to a Yank that could'nt scrub to coins together at one time in his pocket and give him a break. Oh well it was worth a shot.

Hey Jerms and all Aussie And NZ researchers is there a way to imigrate to one of your countries that does'nt cost money please help I'm serious about leaving this god forsaken country. Please Help

Thats simple, Kid - just find the most run down boat you can from a srcapheap somewhere, and float out to just North of Australia.

The Australians will almost cerainly either try and sink the boat, or claim that you threw children overboard so that they would be rescued, but in either case, when they do the New Zealand Government will almost certainly take you as a refugee.

Now Greevis are you havin' a dig at the way we "treat Reffo's" that is to say our standing ethnic affairs policy re: displaced persons of unknown origin....

At the very least kid using Greevis' method you'll get a few weeks break (with Guantamo Bay like facilites) on a tiny tropical island while you're 'processed'.

Well I was thinking about Refugee status I am persecuted in my homeland. No Mates is there a free way to apply for imigration. To either of your fine countrys. I'm serious or atleast not Kiddin.

You could try coming here as a tourist then marrying one of the locals (preferably a girl-type local, not a sheep).

Dunno if you have to pay if your spouse is a genuine local ridgey-didge true-blue Aussie.

There's a thought Mate. I like it. It sings *wonders bout the price of a ticket on Quanta's.*

I don't think there's a way to legally immigrate here without paying, but I guess marrying someone over here would do the trick
But you'd have to be really desperate to marry some poor sheila just so you could stay in our country. I think the best way is just to pay and come without a fuss, or borrow some money from someone in the US to come here, and then when you do get here, find a job and pay them back.
I don't know much about immigration, except that if you come over here you don't want to do it by a means that will have you winding up in a detention centre. Apparently they're terrible places.

You ought to check out the one's in the US they are the pits. Maybe ytour right but on the point system they have in place and my outwardly shady background would probaly nix the deal and loose the cash. Now on my background though it may look shady to the perfunctionary who views it. My true character is anything but shady. I just got put in a bad spot by some unscrupulous types though I feels that it reflects on my poorly. That's something I'll have to deal with. Hey I'm pretty good at them big words with the Help of Evil Roy a fine Aussie and I consider him a E'friend and has been since 02 and the Lasses on his Fan club. They too I consider E'friends for the same lenght of time. Oh well it looks as though I'm stuck with the Yanks me being one of them. G'day.

*sigh* Immigrating is no mean feat for some people

Well do you know any ladies down under that would be interested in a daring devil may care type that happens to be hansom. Don't forget that he has'nt two coins in his poket to scub together.

I doubt that marrying a citizen guarantees residency in Australia. It certainly doesn't in NZ (otherwise everyone would be doing it).

Also if you don't have any money to offer, why else would the woman want to do it?

Well the reasons are to numeruos to count. A reason I won't mention is'nt worth metioning cept in private with the Lady in question but she'd be happy Plus I'm a hansom Chap and nice to boot. With an Irish charm to top it off.

All the single women I know (including myself) would be far too young for you. Sorry

Well I'm a young looking kinda guy how young is young. I don't want to sound like a cad or anything. I had a Gentleman's code of conduct. Though I can get a little silly at times.

Well I'm a young looking kinda guy how young is young. I don't want to sound like a cad or anything. I have a Gentleman's code of conduct. Though I can get a little silly at times.

>>Plus I'm a hansom Chap and nice to boot.<<

Ah, that might be the deciding factor - Australian women being nicely aggressive. You might have to get used to them using gumboots though...


If it weren't for your gumboots,
where would you be?
You'd be in the hospital
Or In-firm-ar-y...

Nothing wrong with agressive women. I personaly like a Lass that can stand up for herself I had a friend (?) And his wife was so weak it was pathedic' and his was an abusive sort. A bad combination. A was sickend by it. I could hardly stand being around them. He worked for me, I was a flooring installer at the time. I made pretty good money at it though. you I want a lady that is not afraid being a women if you know what I mean. By the by what are gumboots.

>> By the by what are gumboots.<<

Sorry, I was taking the piss.

Gumboots are a (usually) calf length rubber pull on boot used for many outdoor activites especially by farmers (or anyone in shallow water or mud). They are brillinatly useful. They're called Wellies (wellingtons) in the UK. I have no idea what they are called in the US.

The song I quoted is by Fred Dagg (aka John Clarke, the funniest man in Australasia, who we in New Zealand lent to the Aussies some time back) and is an ode to how essential gumboots are. Although on reflection Clarke wrote that skit in NZ, and we do get a bit more rain here so maybe it's more a Kiwi thing.

If you are serious about immigrating to Oz, you might want to brush up on some of it's cultural aspects

Well I have some E'friends from Melborne that would show me the ropes. A though that was not lost on me. Hell I have a hard with the cultural aspects on these heathens I live with in this town to which i reffer to as the armpit of the world. Actually I really replace armpit with a site closer to the gluteal area centered if you know what I mean.