h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* busy in the bar... sticking "Castle Almasy, special reserved" labels on wine bottles *

No one will ever notice..

* fills the bottles with grape juice and adds a drop of alcohol to it *

and no one will taste the difference.. genuine middle age wine.. or .. whine?

.....

shouldn't be much of a problem.. surely all tourist shops do this

and i reiterate
.......

.... ok ok ok .. I'll sell'em with discount ..

maybe spike em more and sell em for double instead

I'll start working on that

good work u do that

now I just hope I'm using the right ingredients.. it says on the bottle "for cleaning windows" ... smells like alcohol... ??

Probably needs a new brand name.. like "Blind Man's Wine"??

*pulls out a brown feather*
this will make all the alchol u need, whatever kind u need too

hey, great stuff.. you've got anything to make old oak barrels as well?? so we can go into brandy business??

*yanks out a barrel from his ear*
not a feather but will this do?

.. * from his ear.. * great! now there's one thing to do * lights a torch and holds it in the barrel * for the authentic taste

dont worry its authentic, when im the man who gives it to ya its either authentic or crystalic

Ah.. the wood needs a bit charcoal.. for the taste see?

might burn it

faith in craftsmanship.. faith..

* quickly extuiguishes a starting fire *

.. faith ..

yes.... faith....

unlimited..

* starts to produce "Lady Almasy's Special Old Reserve" (tm) brandy in enormous quantities *