h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A523748

Just something I noticed there wasn't an entry for so thought I'd write one.

A nice entry. You had a small typo in the 'Who ate the pies?' song with a > instead of a ? but that's really quite minor stuff.

Do people really sing these things at matches? The US might be bad, but at least we don't sing.

Starts well and then ends before one would truly expect it to. I think there's a lot more to be said/explained and more famous songs to be added.

For example I know of at least one song that has nothing to do with either of the teams or its players it goes:

The referee's a w*****r, the referee's a w****r [repeat ad infinitum]

Also there are the classic songs to indicate the score to the opposition, examples include:

1 Nil, 1 Nil,
1 Nil, 1 Nil

or

2 Nil, 2 Nil,
2 Nil, 2 Nil

or

2-1, 2-1,
2-1, 2-1

I think the format becomes rather obvious.

This of course reminds me of the Pompey Chimes which are specific to Portsmouth FC going something like (exact words not sure):

Play up Pompey,
Pompey, play up.

Then there are songs specific to players, for example:

He's fat,
he's round,
he bounces on the ground,
[Players name, plaaaayers naaaame]

There's also one about Niall Quinn's disco pants which he repeated on John Inverdale's programme the other day.

What about that classic song at the international level, sung by England fans?

Ing-eeeer-land, Ing-eeeeer-land, Ing-eeer-land,
Ing-eeeer-land, Ing-eeeeer-land, Ing-eeer-laaaaaand,
Ing-eeeer-land, Ing-eeeeer-land, Ing-eeer-land,
Inger-land, Ing-eeeeeer-land [repeat again for a while]

which is accompanied by lots of clapping.

I reckon there's still some work to be done on this entry. Opening 2 paragraphs are good though.

Hope this helps.
BBS

oh yes, and far worse.....

My old man said 'Be a Tottenham fan'
I said 'F*** off you B******d you're a c**t'

and heres a link to prove it
[link removed by moderator]

I liked this article although it seemed a bit short. It would be nice to have included some obscure songs too (not that I can think of any at present). I've been a regular at Edgeley Park and from time to time we've had some memorable ones. When playing Blackburn, the chant was "Are you Burnley in disguise?", a chant easily adapted to insert the name of your opponent's most hated rival.

A couple of years ago when our local rivals Manchester City were plummeting down the leagues, we bid them farewell with "Joe Royle, whatever you may do, You're going down to division 2, You won't win a cup, you won't win a shield. Your next derby is Macclesfield." (to the tune of Lord of the Dance). Which was pretty insulting, for a so-called "big" club to be lumped in with a little club like Macc. I'd love to know who thinks up these things.

Years earlier, after Stockport got whupped by Burnley at Wembley (divisional playoff final), we were singing "Chim-chiminy-chim-chiminy-chim-chim-cheroo, we hate those b******s in claret and blue", another chant that can equally apply to other teams.

I have updated the entry making it longer an incorporating some of the suggestions.

There's also the Werder Bremen (Germany) song, which is the the Lightning Seeds song 'Three Lions on the Shirt' with a german text, originally released for the 1996 European Championship in England. The german text is an adaption of the original one, with 'Ein W auf dem Trikot' (A W on the shirt) as the main verse.

Now it's beginning to look like an entry

Some more thoughts - the title is "Football songs and chants". There are of course many great football songs that have been recorded and released into the charts some quite successfully.

E.g. club songs "I'm forever blowing bubbles" (not the Michael Jackson cover version, the West Ham team), "Ossie's going to Wembley" (Tottenham), "Come on you Reds" (Man Utd), "Anfield Rap" (Liverpool).

The traditional World Cup song (well when England qualify) e.g. "Back Home" (70), 82? / 86?, "World in Motion" (90), "Three Lions" (96/98).

In fact as time has moved on, record companies have realised that football teams are not actually great singers and turned to professional singers to assist them, this has now turned full circle with the players no longer singing and records being released without the teams involvement e.g. Three Lions / Vindaloo / Jerusalem

Also there are those forgettable moments when players have thought they could become singers e.g. "Diamond Lights" (Waddle & Hoddle), "Fog on the Tyne" (Gazza), "Head Over Heels" (Kevin Keegan).

Either the entry needs a section about this; or just change the title to become "Football Terrace Chants & Songs"

* Some further thoughts.

- What do other countries do or have? Especially those beyond the UK.
- Maybe a list of the players / manager / owners who have songs about them, although the lyrics could be left out. In addition to those mentioned earlier in the thread I believe there are also songs about Elton John, Peter Reid (to the tune of Daydream Believer).

Another classic chant that seem to have died out. Is the one when goalkeepers take goal kicks. As he runs up to the ball the crowd are all going "Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooh" then as he kicks the ball it transforms to "You're s**t ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh". A true classic.

My only other complaint about this entry is the failure on the part of the moderators to remove the vile and abusive language in the entry, I felt most sickened to see the name of "S**n C*******e" leaping off the page at me. Especially in such close proximity to arguably the most influential player of the mid-1990s.

Hope that helps, it's looking good.
BBS

How about the sickening 'One-niiiil to the Arsenal, one-niiiil to the Arsenal, one-niiiil...' etc etc. A nice little spin on this is if Arsenal go one down, the opposite fans sing the same, but substituting their own team for Arsenal.

One recent little incident involved Chelsea's bald French defender Frank Leboeuf, who had the following chant sung whenever he was playing a blinder:
"He's here, he's there,
He's every-f*****g-where,
Frank Leboeuf, Frank Leboeuf..." [repeat]

When Leboeuf complained in a programme about this swearing because his wife and children were in the stands, the Chelsea supporters (in a rare flash of inspration ) came up with the following:
"He's here, he's there,
We're not supposed to swear,
Frank Leboeuf, Frank Leboeuf..." [repeat]

Nice.

I changed the title of the article to football terrace songs and chants. I'm not really 100% happy with that what with all seater stadia and everything, but I couldn't think of a better way of wording it. I don't want to go into football songs in the charts because I think it's probably a big enough topic to warrant an enntry of its own and it's not really something I know a great deal about. (that and the fact that I don't want any permanent mental scarring from thinking about it too much). While it would be possible to include more examples I don't really want to do that because no matter how many are there there will always be more that aren't included. I only really wanted to include examples for flavour as opposed to being an exhaustive index. Similarly with the suggestion of a list of players with songs written about them - in full this would be very long, very boring and an utter nightmare to research.

Given that people no longer stand in the "main stand" or "grandstand", the use of terrace is more than good enough IMHO.

Editorial Note: This thread has been moved out of the Peer Review forum because this entry has now been recommended for the Edited Guide.

If they have not been along already, the Scout who recommended your entry will post here soon, to let you know what happens next. Meanwhile you can find out what will happen to your entry here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/SubEditors-Process

Congratulations!

Of Course, a typical reply by opposition fans to the Pompey Chimes of

'Play up Pompey,
Pompey Play Up'
is
'F*** off Pompey,
Pompey F*** off'

A example of a particularly obscure fan's favourite is 'Glad All Over' by the Dave Clark Five which is the theme tune of Crystal Palace F.C.

My particular favourite, though, goes as thus:-

The Famous Alan Mullery went to Rome to see the Pope
The Famous Alan Mullery went to Rome to see the Pope
The Famous Alan Mullery went to Rome to see the Pope,
And this is what he said - F**K OFF!!

Who's that team they call the palace?!,
Who's that team we all adore?!
Cos we're the boys in red 'n' blue,
who the f***ing hell are you,
and Ron Noade's wife is a whore! WHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! (screamed over and over, ad naseum)

Other chants which you did not mention, perhaps intentionally, as they are more taunts than chants are the traditional WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH........YOU'RE S**T AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! when the opponents take a penalty or a goal kick, and when the opposition support finally sings something :-
nice to know that you are here, nice to know that you are here, nice to know that you are here- NOW F*** OFF!!!!!!

In a similar incident to the 'we're not supposed to swear' song mentioned earlier, the song "You're not very good, you're not very good, you're not very , you're not very, you're not very good!" was dreamed up.

I'm amazed that one song hasn't come up or aren't there any other Charlton fans here?

During Charlton's nomad years at Selhurst Park & Upton Park a song came out to the tune of Mull of Kintyre telling of the crowd's desire to be back at the Valley.

We still sing that song with pride

The other one is:

Build a bonfire
Build a bonfire
Put the Millwall on the top
Put the Palace in the middle
And burn the f****** lot!