h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't worry Emmily its not just Sho whos keeping up with this thread, I've been lurking about still waiting for something constructive to materialise in my brain! Its really almost finished as an entry now, theres a couple of typos here and there but they're for the Sub-Ed I think however....dum dum dum dum, I don't like the order of the second paragrpah in the bit about Sharpe the Soldier. You say in the first half that he rose in the ranks from and then describe the units he served in which is fine but then you go backwards and explain how he rose from the ranks, how using this instead...



Private Sharpe was just 17 when he first saw action serving under Arthur Wellesley, as part of the 33rd Foot regiments campaign in Flanders. He would go on to be promoted to the rank of Sergeant whilst still with the 33rd Foot in India but it was on the 23 September, 1803 at The Battle of Assaye that Sergeant Sharpe's life as a soldier changed direction. When he saw General Wellesley dismounted from his horse, and at the mercy of Indian troops, he courageously fought them off, until Wellesley was on his feet and fighting beside Sharpe. Earning himself the gratitude of Wellesley, a field commission and his most treasured possession: a telescope with a brass plaque inscribed - In gratitude. AW. September 23rd, 1803 presented from Wellesley.

From the first in the series of novels Sharpe is congratulated for his bravery at Assaye, (as well as other victories) however it would be many novels and nearly 18 years later that Cornwell wrote the full story of how thousands of men died at The Battle of Assaye, but Sir Arthur Wellesley's life was saved by Sharpe in Sharpe's Triumph.

After his service in India finished Sharpe was sent back to England, where he took part in the raid on Copenhagen in 1807, before joining the Pennisular War against Napoleons forces in Portugal, Spain and France. After the peace of 1814 Sharpe moved to live in Normandy before Napoleons 100 day campaign recalled Sharpe to service in Belgium. Along the course of his life Sharpe rose from the rank of a Private to a finish his army days as Lieutenant-Colonel at the time of Waterloo. He served in the 33rd of Foot, the 74th of foot, the South Essex/South Essex Light Company and Prince of Wales' Own Volunteers accompanied by Sergeant Patrick Harper and the crack squad of riflemen from the 95th Rifle Regiment.

A5212874

CB, that reads better. I've made a minor change so I can mention Sharpe's Waterloo. I've tried to mention the book titles whenever I can.

I've removed the fourth paragraph that had the links to the battles, and moved the links to the list of book titles, plus added more.

>"theres a couple of typos here and there but they're for the Sub-Ed"

I've found a couple of typos and correccted them. I think it's better to have typos, punctuation and grammar corrected before an Entry gets to the Sub-editor (they'll soon mention them in PR) many pairs of eyes are more reliable and likely to notice errors than just one pair, if you notice any errors, let me know, I'll be happy to correct them.

Emmily

I've been adding bits here and there last couple of days, still on track for PR beginning of next week and have got lots of notes to work on.

I've chosen most of the links used, we need a link for Sean Bean. Cardi-Bling or Sho would you like to suggest your favourite Sean Bean page/site (if you have one)

Emmily

The Compleat Sean Bean is pretty good

http://www.compleatseanbean.com/

after this weekend's mayhem is finished, I'll have time to give this a really good look over

(don't get me started on what PR should and shouldn't do... it will only take the tiniest thing to tip me over the edge )

The Compleat Sean Bean link added

No worries about PR, I've survived more than 20 trips there

Emmily

Added a section on Teresa.

Emmily

Sharpe if finally in Peer Review

Emmily

right
off to read it thoroughly

this may not be protocol,but since I haven't actually read the entry start to finish for yonks, I'll post this here, if you don't mind.

Don't be put off - I know from experience what it is to look at something so much you can't see it anymore.

it is a fantastic entry, well done

here goes...

I know I've read this before, but this is the first time in ages I've actually gone from start to finish. Sorry - probably I should have mentioned some of this stuff before (but you know what time is like....)

the opening two sentences could be a bit confusing:
>>Richard Sharpe is the creation of author Bernard Cornwell. In 1980, he lived in a London basement flat and was due to <<

It sounds as if you're talking about Sharpe in the 2nd sentence. How aout changing the 'he' to Cornwell?

'Richard Sharpe is the creation of author Bernard Cornwell. In 1980, Cornwell lived in a London basement flat and was due to ...'


(again, sorry I should probably have mentioned this before)

>>in at least one of the novels Sharpe is in Sheffield, Bean's birth place<<
Sharpe isn't actually _in_ Sheffield - it is mentioned, in one of the later written novels (set in India, however) that Sharpe had ended up working in Sheffield.


In the Special Publications section:

>> In 1994 the Daily Mail requested Cornwell to write a short Christmas themed Sharpe story<<

it sounds a bit odd to my ears - how about replacing 'requested' with 'commissioned'?


Under Sharpe the Soldier

>>Earning himself the gratitude of Wellesley, a field commission and his most treasured possession: a telescope with a brass plaque inscribed<<

I don't think you can start the sentence like that. How about:

'His actions earned him the gratitude of Wellesley, a field commission and his most treasured possession: a telescope with a brass plaque inscribed..'

This bit is a bit jumbled I think, can you maybe reword it a litte?

>>He served in the 33rd of Foot, the 74th of foot, the South Essex/South Essex Light Company and Prince of Wales' Own Volunteers2 they were recognised by numbers. accompanied by Sergeant Patrick Harper and the crack squad of riflemen from the 95th Rifle Regiment.<<

actually I'm out of time. but can I just say
to see this in PR after all your work!

Sho, I'd already made one of those changes after a comment from MJ, implemented the rest, except the last one, my brain can't get round that at the moment. I'll take a look at it tomorrow.

I couldn't have got it to PR with the help of those in this thread..

Emmily

Just to let you know the TV Series is in EGWW.

Emmily

I mentioned Jane before, and whether what was written in the Entry was TV Jane, not novel Jane, but then forgot about it - looks like it is TV "in a climatic scene" how did I miss seeing that before

I'm currently half way through reading 'Regiment', 'Siege' is next. If no one else can remember how much of what's about Jane is from the novels, I can skip though 'Siege' & 'Waterloo' and see what I can find

Emmily