h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Because I'm on the wrong side of the pond, for one thing.

So get a rowing boat!

You can smoke where ever you like.

If you get high on that stuff, I think I have to charge you...

The notice says refrain from smoking on hot air ballons.

I was drunk, I was at the met, I didn't go anywhere near the tube train, and I wasn't anywhere near the lady at the Kings Cross railway station, so It couldn't have been me, I am, not, therefore, the solution.

elementary my dear watson er I mean 2legs.

I didn't fall down the steps at Kings Cross station on the journey home. I only do that* kind of thing when I'm sobre, and on my way to the meet. (I did, on way to meet, do exactly that )

You should take more water with it.

The pub didn't have any water, only extra-strong ale, cider and double vodka

Take more vodka with it!

This glass, this is a glass of sufficient size, I should be happy. Vodka goes with vimto, doesn't everyone know that...

I know nothing.

You know more than people who do not know that they know nothing!

This bottle was full, it is now empty.

I didn't do it.

I did it, but I can't remember what it actualy* was that i did.

Never volunteer for anything

Hello, I'd like to volenteer for volenteering for nothing.

sign here, Take a badge and may your god be with you.