h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Could you rephrase that?
I don't want to make a mistake, you now?
Uhm... would you like another ribbon perhaps?

Could I have a purple ribbon<?>

You like purple?
Well, it looks very nice against your white hide, doesn't it?
What happened to the other cows... uhm... people, I mean?
Wasn't there a whole bunch here before?

Did the cows do something to them<?>

Haven't I arrived finally, after reading nearly 2 days of backlog?

Am I insane for reading it?

Haven't I just read a similar amount of backlog at no no no thread?

May I point out that there are no lacrosse-playing cows in that thread (as far as I know)?

Isn't h2g2 slow at the moment?

Doesn't it keep timing out?

Should I just shut up and be grateful that it still recognises me?

Isn't h2g2 *extremely* slow at the moment<?>

Isn't it also true that my conversation list doesn't seem to be updating properly<?>

Am I not considering ing off and trying again later<?>

Didn't I just notice that too?
And didn't I believe you left without saying bye?
And didn't I just rant and behave like an idiot because of that?

And didn't I post that last post an hour ago?
Where is everybody?
Are you all shirking your duties?
Will I have to come after you and drag you back?
Are you afraid of the cows?

Didn't h2g2 just go completely barmy again?

Don't you hate it when that happens?

Isn't happening a lot recently?

I wonder if it's the cows' fault?

Wouldn't it be surprising if it didn't have anything to do with animals at all?

Couldn't it be gremlins?

What do these gremlins look like?

How can we avoid them?

Wasn't that just the very worst experience you've ever had?
Am I not wiping sweat from my brow from the shock right now?
Are there gremlins *too*???
Oh my, this goes way beyond our worst fears, doesn't it?
Are your conversation lists updating as they should, by the way?

Haven't I also been trying to log in for hours?

Wasn't it the case that some other BBc sites were playing up at the same time?

Mighten the question Persicutors have something to do with it?

Haven't i been crawling up the walls the last hour or so, because I couldn't get on H2G2?

Wasn't my only way in which to cope with the down site listening to George Formby and rolf harris records?

Didn't I also double check in teh Garage to make sure that Nighthoover isn't hiding in there?

How long since I last posted in this thread?

Do I recognize everyone now in this thread?

Or am I just confussed as a consequence of being unable to post for quite some time, probably over an hour on the site?

What happend to the cattle/cows/sheep then?; did they roam off to play a game on their own, out of the public gaze?: arn't many grazing animals, by their nature rather shy?

Can I wave to everyone, as a way of saying now i'm here I might not return for some time, as this is the slowest loading page I've found on the whole site?

Isn't it a relief to have h2g2 back?

Now where were we?

Weren't we discussing the growing bovine thread and/or gremlins<?>

Weren't we discussing the growing bovine threat and/or gremlins<?>

The question of versus ?

Doesn't it look like the cows have already gotten into the system<?>

Didn't they keep h2g2 down for a bit<?>

Now doesn't it look like they've made me double post<?>

But are you sure it was cows and not gremlins?
Or perhaps it was some sort of crossbreed?

Would you call that a comlin or a grow?