h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Anyway, didn't the police drop all charges after one of the chickens withdrew its evidence at my trial?

And wasn't it further proven that I was miles away at the time, in Tierra Del Fuego, buying a wok?

Would a cow ever do that, I ask you?

Could a cow properly command a nuclear submarine?

Would a cow be capable of making a cheese and pickle sandwich of the sort of complexity displayed by the very one I am eating here as I type- and, note, TYPE... with my HANDS... not my HOOVES..?

For why am I thus persecuted?

Is it because I like to put grass in my hat?

Udderwise... am I not comlpetely innocent?

What about all those rainforests you keep chopping down so you can run around and play Lacrosse?

Have I missed something?

Would it not be safe to assume that it probably wasn't very important?

Is anything in here important?

Would that not depend on your point of view?

What about by position relative to the trajectory and velocity of the question?

And perhaps on the gravity of the situation?

Is gravity a constant 10N?

Does that not depend on where you are?

Does not where you are depend on the force of gravity<?>

Does that not make sense<?>

Has Pod really been cutting down rain forests to play lacrosse<?>

Doesn't that sound suspicious<?>

Could it be that the cow's milk conspiracy is actually just a cover-up for the much larger lacrosse conspiracy<?>

Lacrosse? Shouldn't that be "lactose"?

Is there a danger to lactose-intolerant lacrosse players<?>