h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

and im glad i installed sprinklers for just such an occasion!

(isnt god-modding wonderful?)

*Continues working whilst carrying an umbrella and whistling "Singing in the rain"*

curses! umbrellas! the one weakness in my plan!! fine, plan B!

*loads metal-eating nanorobot rocket in bazooka and aims at chamber*

hasta la vista... kipper!

*fires rocket at chamber with seemingly no effect, however, within 3 seconds the chamber turns to dust, leaving kipper standing in the open with his umbrella, inter reloads bazooka with flesh-destroying nanorobot rocket*

any last words?

Yes, That's the Last time I Use THAT Building firm to build me an OmniState Impact Chamber, Those are supposed to survive anything and I mean Anything, You wouldn't let me go and complain to them by any chance?

I could complain for you, then Inter can get on with the takeover

How many times has he tried to take over so far?

while ordinarily i would, with you off complaining i could freely take over, but in this case the PIIB building was destroyed so killing you is all i've got left to do! (oh and by the way, the clue is in the name "IMPACT" it can withstand a bazooka blast, but not a hungry microscopic robot attack)

sorry kipper nothing personal, well.... it is a little bit

*fires flesh eating nanorobot bazooka, which soars through the air to kipper in slow motion, while dramatic music plays*

*Stands up tall, Takes a Deep breath and Closes Eyes*

you always suck the fun out of everything!

*rocket hits kipper, instantly blasting him to smithereens*

MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! VICTORY IS MINE!!! penguins! as your new leader i command you to bring me pavlova!!!!!

*Looks at penguin corpse splattered rubble*

I don't think they're very happy

Anyway, what are you going to do without Kipper to fight with?

By the way, you've destroyed out cheesecake pavlova hybrid experiments

*A Single remaining screen from the Lab Flickers and Starts flashing the Message "Emergency Temporal Orbit"*

oh dear... that doesnt look good at all!!! BUT NEVER FEAR!! i still have one "cheeselova" egg that was re-constructed by the nanorobots!

*notices screen*

huh? what might this mean?

*A Near By Clock Keeps Repeating the Same Second, Until the screen reads "reverse temporal orbit" When It starts running backwards*

*area aroung inter begins to glow purple*

NOOOOOOO! damn you kipper! times undoing itself and my temporal clamp field cant hold it for long!!!

*starts walking towards lab as if wading through treacle*

THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!!!! I WON!! THIS... this... ca........

*area shines a brilliant white and everyone wakes up, alive and well on the once again intact restaurant floor*

drat! foiled again!!! well at least i still have my cheeselova egg, RIGHT! im going to go and build an incubater out of toffee and candy floss for this bad boy!

I think you'll find I Beat you to the Finish Inter
*Steps aside to reveal a Huge Pavlova/Cheesecake monster, which roars at inter*

*swoops in and slams the door shut behind him*

oh i dont think so!

*steps back and the door is blasted off its hinges by an enormous blob of pink, covered in meringues, strawberries and whipped cream*

oh it's OOOOON!!!! *dramatic fight music starts playing*

(oh by the way kipper, i've already patented the name "cheeselova", hehehe, looks like you'll have to call yours... pfft!! PAVCAKE!!! HAAAAAAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! )

this can't end well you both know that right...

it never does, one of us always ends up dead, in deep space or turned into a cheesecake

Never fear Mine is not called "Pavcake" But it is called the RoboPavChee 9000!