Tremble, mortals below! We are watching!

ALPHA STATION RULES!!!

Come to our station and visit us - if you dare!

Hi-tech wizardry has come to the heavens above you! No one is safe! Lock up your imps!

Visitors will be admitted upon agreeing to the Station Rules:

1. Civility, and respect for personal space, will be observed at all times.

2. The is IN CHARGE.

3. THE is NOT TO BE MESSED ABOUT.

4. Technolalia will not be questioned.

All Species Welcome!!!

The ALPHA RPG - The Continuing Saga Continues

Observant Researchers will not have failed to notice that recently one of the five busiest conversations has been the one whose title takes up five lines of sidebar - ALPHA. The apologises for this outrage, which is entirely caused by the new rpg, or role-playing game.

Since its inception on Sunday, 19 September 2005 (a date which will live in infamy), the rpg has racked up quite a blog. To alleviate any annoyance this may cause to innocent bystanders, overworked Italics, and the hamsters, there follows herewith a brief summary of The Plot So Far.

Those intrepid Researchers who survive reading this monstrous amount of blog are invited to adopt the following badge as a reward. Everyone else is welcome to ignore this further evidence of madness in the multiverse, secure in the knowledge that no fish or game laws are being broken (and we do know it's only a game, honest!) . Just think of it as hootoo's very own soap opera.

Those wishing to participate are invited to contact lil ol' me ACE or dmitrigheorgheni for an update and character suggestions. The unwary are warned against contacting elektragheorgheni, as she will merely try to turn you into lunch.

ALPHA RPG Now I Know Everything

The Plot - Such as It Is

The action takes place on ALPHA 42, a mysterious space station in geostationary orbit above an increasingly troubled planet Earth. Earth, seen only through the viewscreens and portholes of ALPHA, appears to be plagued with corrupt politics, evil capitalistic schemes, military takeover bids, and bad bioethics. (This, obviously, is the science-fiction element.)

Lil, an experienced Starfleet officer with problems of her own, tries to hold together her band of misfit junior officers - among them a genetically-engineered catman and a schizophrenic telepath - while searching for answers to puzzling questions of Realpolitik, dealing with those extremely confusing aliens, the Gheorgheni family (a combination of the Collinsport Collinses and the Q Continuum), and, last but not least, searching for a really good cup of coffee.

Join them as they fail to boldly go (being, as mentioned before, in geostationary orbit).

The Dramatis Personae (Characters, You Nit!)

Links in this sector are to pics - to give you a mental picture of the characters. Objects in viewscreen may be odder than they appear.

Captain Lil Olmen - An experienced Starfleet officer with secrets in her past, some of them involving the C.L.A.W. project. She has secret sorrows as well, but is becoming intrigued with the interesting possibilities of life with the weird Gheorghenis.

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Loveable but reticent builder/owner of the odd space station known as ALPHA. Dmitri (a shapeshifter most at home in dragon form) has somewhat reluctantly allowed Starfleet to move in with him in orbit, and now wonders what he has gotten himself into, especially when his Gheorgheni relatives start arriving, some of whom are mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

Lieutenant EvilClaw - A genetically engineered human/cat hybrid, EvilClaw possesses superior strength and skill, and a hair-trigger temper. He is troubled by the interest shown in him by shadowy forces, and wants to know what secrets are being kept from him about his origins.

Tavaron Gheorgheni - Dmitri's niece and daughter of the harmlessly eccentric Stefan Gheorgheni. Normally a lovely young woman - though a terrible pilot - Tavaron is currently in the midst of some sort of Gheorgheni puberty crisis which causes her to morph into a cat at embarrassing moments.

Subjanitor Junior Grade Malaba Ayin - A hapless victim of Starfleet, Gheorghenis and Goths, Malaba has a heartrending backstory currently known only to herself. Apparently she knew EvilClaw on Earth, but now that they are in orbit, he has begun to ignore her. Her misadventures combine all the finer tragic moments enjoyed by such heroes as Rincewind, Lister, and Nobby Nobbs.

Ensign Elwyn the Geat - A schizophrenic telepath whose backstory might become clearer if she ever stopped talking exclusively to the service robots.

Elektra Gheorgheni - A vampire. Really bad news. Really, really bad news. Think of your high school Latin teacher in chains and leather. No, don't. Well, you get the idea.

Ariel the Wonder Shih-Tzu - A small white dog belonging to Dmitri. He does what small white dogs do - kiss everybody, and troll for treats.

Other characters - King Terry of the Goths and Alexei Gheorgheni, Evil Genius - Cameo appearances, at least so far.

Health Warning

As large doses of this drivel may cause headaches, loss of balance and snowblindness, the reader is warned to take the whole thing with a large grain of salt.

New This Week on the RPG

A new character is about to make her appearance for the first time on your viewscreens - Dragonqueen, a powerful and exotically alluring space pirate queen from the Outer Rim, who continually challenges Elektra Gheorgheni in a bid for power, loot, and really cool leatherware. Let the catfight begin! You heard it here first, folks!

The ALPHA Tape Library

The Library is equipped with easy chairs with headphones, a mini-vidscreen, a control panel, and, of course, a cupholder.

Select your favourite tape and beverage, lean back, and enjoy!

Library Listings

The Phoints