h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I sat down and wrote
About bad verse and then Nick
got inspired. Wow.

Oooh, I CAN do it!
I think.
, or

Still need an extra syllable in that last line.

You should become a church member and make a weevil-related haiku. If you haven't read the church page yet, perhaps you should give it a once-over. Of course, there's no obligation. Never is. Weevils, after all, just want to be your friend.

http://www.h2g2.com/A226450

It's that DARN last line. I just can't do it. Woe.

I, too, have to go over the syllable count several times before I'm convinced that I've got it right. Believe me, anybody can write a haiku, especially a bad one.

Hmm, perhaps the incorrect syllable count actually qualifies it as "really bad haiku".

OK, here we go again, and yes, I suppose it's right and good that since I wrote the entry on poetry, or at least THAT entry on it, my Haikus should be an order worse than everyone else's

Computer you lure
Me into your world but if
You break you die. Hmf!

How's that? (Let's home I can, at last, count!)

And now for the Haiku challenge! The next person on this thread, your Haiku topic is 'toxic waste'

But no, this is the weevil haiku page, part of the Church of the True Weevil. If anything, bad, non-weevil-related haiku's should go on your bad poetry page, should they not?

Then again, maybe we can put a weevil-ish twist on it:

They would clean it up
If weevils were only able
Toxic waste sucks

Whoops, sorry!

Will repost there!

Blimey, now I've gone and fallen a syllable short. Ha ha. Let me try to fix that:


They would clean it up
If weevils were only able
Toxic waste is stupid

Adds a bit of drama, don't you think?

Oh good lord, I've done it again. I am the worst poet ever. Perhaps I should get over my cold before I consider writing any more haiku's.

How do I delete an entire thread?

I've no idea I know you can do it with journals.

Maybe you could entitle it: Almost Haikus?

The only way I can think of.. and I guess you'd REALLY want to get rid of it, is maybe... delete the entry, since this is the only thread on it so far... and re-enter the entry somewhere else?

But that would involve a lot of mucking about, and I'm not sure the thread wouldn't follow it. The thread would still be on your home page until you had posted enough conversations to tip it over to the 'more conversations' page.

I guess the short answer is... I don't know.

Or perhaps "unfathomably bad haiku conceived by a brain full of sausages".

Sounds about right.

Weevils pronounce Nick
Hero of the Haiku for
He has improved it

There, weevils, haikus, suspense, AND a reason for yours being different!

Traditional haiku just wasn't "wordy"
enough, so I thought I'd put a bit of a spin on it
by simply adding more syllables.

Wow, haiku is even easier if you completely ignore all the rules for composing one.

Oh dear, yes it is. And it even looks Haiku-ey if you make sure to have the most syllables in the middle line.

...and break sentences at odd places.

Good point. I'll have to make a note of that for the Haiku section of the entry.

, or

Weevils eat some things
But they do not eat others
Have they got taste buds?

Whaddaya think?

Ahem
*Gets out monacle*

Well from a haiku point of view, it looks good! I'll have to refer to Nick for the Weevil bit, as he is the weevil expert