h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How can you tell which lizard is the male (assuming hetrosexuality)?

The first one is the male, hes providing for them.

No female. She gave the bird something first. Women like to feed birds. And when the bird gave her a centipede in return she gave it to the male one and said, "Here, stupid see if this is fit to eat." It was, they shared and he got a kiss for his trubbles.

That's an interesting proposition; however, you failed to notice something. The second lizard has eyelashes. Traditionally, female cartoons are drawn with more pronounced eyelashes than male cartoons.
Also, notice how the second lizard holds its (hands?). If it were male, it'd certainly be a peculiar male.
Females do gives kisses for their mate's troubles. That's why he got a kiss after sharing a meal.

Now hold on jes'a-min(ut) there Jessamyn..

In most species the male is the more colourful (hence those handsome lizard eyelashes) and limp wrists are only peculiar in human males so you don't want to transmorph ..personificat ..transmogroph ..well whatever that word is where people assume that critters think and behave like people do. Do you. No that's right you do not.

You should put something on your homepage even if it's just "Hi I'm Jessamyn" or "You'll never guess what my name means.." or anything at all so that people can reply to you. There's all sorts of do-gooders out there just waiting to pounce on you with friendly welcomes and suggestions of how to live your life at h2g2.
Right now, poor dear, all you got going is this losing battle with a mysoginist, gaybashing old fart. Peace. And welcome.

Jessamyn, please activate your homepage, so I may greet you on behalf of the h2g2 community! Thanks!

Are you really a "misogynistic, gay-bashing old fart" Dear?
(What's wrong with anthropomorphism anyway?)

Yes.

Anthroporn... That's easy for you to say. Well, as an artistic licence sort of thingy, it's great (Traveller by Richard Adams) but in RL it's cruel to place human expectations on critters. I keep telling my dog not to burp and fart but..

My turn... Is Trillion a million million or is that zillion. I used to think American billion was nine hundred million short of a British billion. But now its inflation, inflation..

I think the British ended up adopting the American standard (Don't we always!)
I've never encountered 'Traveller'. Skallagrig remains my favourite.
Now there's a thought provoking book. . .

Richard Adams scares me. I can't get past page 2 of Watership Down and Shardik is maybe page 3 but Traveller was General Lee's horse. The book is written with Traveller as the first person narrative voice. The more you know about the American Civil War the better it is (historical detail wise) but, even if you don't know anything about it, if you're a pacifist/humanist/horselover you'd really enjoy it.
Skallagrig is Adams?
Now there's one I never heard of.
Do y'think Richard Adams is any relation to Douglas?

Oops!
Humble jalopies
Skallagrigg was written by William Horwood (or so my moles inform me )
Typical woolly-minded female mistake?

Hmm.
Now there's a thought to occupy the long dark teatime of the soul.
But surely one or both are (is?) nom de plume(s) :p

Wooly ..? Never. Blonde ..maybe.


Maybe they are evil twins. Birds of a plume tend to flock around together.

Generalisations huh?
(Say - where did you pick up the dog?)

This ..?
Click on him to see more about 'smileys'.
Or my RL dog ..(the smelly one).

In the main, as a rule, I tend to follow the concensus that generally speaking there is nothing in particular wrong with a good generalisation.

I meant that (but have since found out thank you)
I'm sure your RL dog can't possibly be half as smelly as mine (Nothing beats an English winter, deep in the countryside)

I had one of them English Winters once but he slipped the lead..

Now I have a Nova Scotian Muck Rolling Deceiver.

Is that like a Gay Deceiver?

No that was the English Highwayman of famed folk song by same name.

"Hie 'way Man" yoursel' ye auld reekie. Divvent tak tae me in yon manner