h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

a Calcu-Gator-A! They sound

Sure thing!

*Affy pulls a Calcu-Gator box out from behind the counter, and hands it to Abi*

So, what're you doing in The Crater? We don't get many Italics down here, unless you count the occasional appearance at Lil's Atelier.

I just popped down to look at this page as a potential Abi's Activity for next week!

Oooh, really? Well, here's hoping that you're very happy with the product. And don't even think that quality purchasing should influence your decision.

Speaking of which,....

*Affy quickly puts the word "free" on every nearby toy, and pushes the button that alarms the robots of a very important customer*

....hope you'll accept a few complimentary gifts for being the....seventh customer! Yeah, that's it! The seventh customer gifts! That's it!

umm could i have one of those toy soldiers? i have a noisy neughbour i'd like to get rid of

Sure, sure, any specific kind of soldier you want? Crusader? Confederate? Samurai? Spanish Conquistador? Plastic Green Army Men?

Id like a calculator thingy! Anything new coming out soon! Are you open to suggestions?

As the character Afgncaap5 is currently missing in h2g2 at the moment in another adventure thread, we must assume that this is a robotic version of himself created for the purpose of running the cash register, possibly the same version of himself left over from his adventure at Lord Reflection's Manor.


Well, we have a few new things. For instance, we've just developed this new brand of firecracker.

*Affy pulls out a weasel-shaped firecracker, and places it on the counter*

This firecracker is called The Weasel. It's called that because it goes "pop" when it explodes. We have traditional weasel colored ones, or you can get the Mauve Weasel coloration, which comes with the added feature of playing "We're Off To See The Wizard" backwards in E Minor as it shoots to the sky. Either of these can be purchased as a single, or as a Gam (the Gam numbers one dozen, just to keep it easy). As an added bonus, I'll give you fifty-percent off if you can name the classic h2g2 forum that the Mauve Weasel is a reference to.

As for being open to suggestions, I'm going to say yes and no. Everything CLI related on h2g2 (Including Crater Toys) is part of my real-life company Crater Labs Incorporated (we've actually made real versions of Calcu-Gators, Radial Clocks, Re-Throwable Pies, and a program that simulates an infinite amount of monkeys typing on typewriters, among other things). While we could conceivably take suggestions for products, we can't really take them and put the CLI label on them.

However, we do specially make things. For instance, the worker droid at the H2G2 Space Centre's 24-7 grocery store was designed on special request, as was that store's payment system. We also designed the security system for Lil's Atelier, most of the equipment used for The Esirpretne (a space ship that frequently protects h2g2 from Horrible Somethings all over the place), and an evil assassination robot named Montressor for The Masque, one of h2g2's three most powerful supervillains (right up there with The Krylma Leader and Big Bad Werewolf). Also, the pack of Jedi clones invented a gun called The Chefinator which we made for them when they paid us and provided us with blueprints.

So in other words, while we can't specifically take your idea and call it a CLI Product, we can take a special request and have CLI Produce it for you.

*As he says this, Affy pulls out the Calcu-Gator and puts it on the counter, as well as casually pushing a Gam of Mauve Weasels towards the customer while also signalling the worker bots in the back to get ready for a special request via a button beneath the counter*