It suddenly occurred to me, the other day, that we're almost through our last year of high school. Not only that, but we've got about three weeks left in our last full term. What with prelims in the winter, and then the real exams in the summer, the last two terms of the year will be broken up by study leave. I hadn't really registered before, just how little time we had left (or how little time there was to revise in! ).

What really triggered off this realisation was a non-uniform day we had a couple of weeks ago. I know, any Americans reading this are probably falling off their seats in laughter- not only do we have to wait for a charity event to dress in normal clothes, but we've got to make a donation as well. Boy, do you guys have it lucky. Not that I should really complain- as long as we dress in dark colours, our school pretty much lets us dress any way we want. We could be forced to wear kilts and blazers- drive for 20 minutes out of town and you can get hours of fun from a school exactly like that. But that's beside the point. About halfway through the day, I was sitting in the sixth year lounge, when the bell went. Five minutes later, once everybody had finished their card games and woken up enough to make it to class, I watched them picking up folders and pulling on jackets, and got a sudden flash of the future. I felt as if I'd already made it to uni and was sitting in the student union. I suppose sixth year has that relaxed quality to it, but the sight of everyone in normal clothes, clutching cups of coffee and car keys really drove it home.

As soon as I had this thought (of course) my mind went into hyperdrive. Well, actually it yammered 'Ohs**tohs**tohs**t' for a couple of minutes, but then it started panicking in sentences. For all that I hated high school for the last five years, I've caught myself enjoying this year immensely. I love it- free periods, coffee, driving lessons, classes I enjoy, liking everyone in my year- it's been a blast. Actually, it's completely unfair- for years I can't wait to get out of high school, and then when the end's in reach, I start to feel like I'm gonna miss it. Go figure!

Apparently, though, not everyone feels this way. In the general craziness that has overtaken the uni applicants right now, a different kind of insanity has emerged. Well, insanity from my point of view... I suppose here I need to do a little more clarifying on the whole Scottish education thing. Basically, when we apply to unis, they can come back with two kinds of offers. The first (the one you really want) is an unconditional- this means you're going to uni, no questions asked, no more qualifications needed. The second is a conditional offer- the uni will say you can go to them, as long as you achieve certain grades in certain subjects. Still good, but it doesn't take the pressure off as far as studying is concerned (believe me, getting an unconditional is a feeling you don't forget in a hurry). What does happen though, is that some sixth years, faced with an unconditional, decide they can't be bothered with school anymore, and pack it in. Go away, never to be heard of again.

Now, this could just be me and my workaholic neuroses talking, but doesn't that smack of giving up? I mean, if you've spent half a year working for a course, where's the point in deserting it halfway through. I'd far rather stick it out and have the pleasure of an extra string to my bow at the end of it all. Not only that, but they'll miss the discos, the leaving High School together, the Sleaze Ball (our name for the senior ball). Hell, missing the newest card game in the lounge would be too much for me... I don't know, I just don't think I could abandon everything so easily. Not when I know for a fact that it'll hurt enough to leave when the year finally ends.

This wasn't really where I started off, was it? I suppose my point is that I hadn't realised, hadn't wanted to think about how quickly we're leaving everything behind. After all, we're all growing up (no matter how much we wish it would stop sometimes), and I'm just not sure that I would want to push that process. Not for all the unconditionals in the world!

04.12.00. Front Page

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