h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My mother was the lone female in a house with five males, so she never made an issue of the toilet seat. Many years later, as I visited her in her home for the holidays, the ugly spectre finally reared its ugly head. She demonstrated typical female capriciousness (or perhaps the harbinger of senility) by alleging that she had *always* made an issue of it. She raised the concern that she could sit down unwarily, wetting her bottom and possibly becoming stuck in that position (she is rather short, so her feet would probably come off the ground) and requiring assistance. Rather than fold, I informed her of the obvious truth in the matter:

"If you're stupid enough to sit without looking, you get what you deserve."