A Conversation for Unwashed
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Alternative Writing Workshop: A47315135 - Unwashed
Secretly Not Here Any More Started conversation Feb 10, 2009
Entry: Unwashed - A47315135
Author: Psycorp Six-Oh-Three (This bit goes in the brackets) - U219983
My stretcher entry, a tale of Valentine's misfortune and a huge dry cleaning bill.
A47315135 - Unwashed
Secretly Not Here Any More Posted Feb 10, 2009
Cheers dmitri. I really struggle with poems - I can just about reel off something funny or light-hearted, so I thought I'd go the opposite way and do something a bit tragic.
I don't actually think I'll re-read this at any point.
A47315135 - Unwashed
Beatrice Posted Feb 10, 2009
Well, that would be a shame - love the pathos, clever rhyming.
A47315135 - Unwashed
Keith Miller yes that Keith Miller Posted Feb 10, 2009
Liked it: simple in presentation and the story does lead to a good conclusion.
A47315135 - Unwashed
minorvogonpoet Posted Feb 11, 2009
I like this. 
It tells a believable tale in an amusing manner
.
The rhymes and half-rhymes at the line end reinforce the impression of a day when everything went wrong
A47315135 - Unwashed
minichessemouse - Ahoy there me barnacle! Posted Feb 11, 2009
Ooh 
Nicely done! you wont find this in a card!
mini
A47315135 - Unwashed
aka Bel - A87832164 Posted Feb 11, 2009
It made me check all my teeth were still in place. 
Painful experience, very convincing. 
A47315135 - Unwashed
Trout Montague Posted Feb 24, 2009
For what it's worth, Old Spice (plight my troth etc) declared this easily the best of the Valentines. No vote, but praise nonetheless.
A47315135 - Unwashed
UnderGuide Editors Posted Jun 14, 2009
It's certainly had some votes now, from UnderGuide Miners as it happens. Many congratulations! 
You've heard the initial thoughts of our QA in judging this for The Stretcher. Here's what he had to add when considering it for the UG:
"Cleverer than I gave it credit for on first reading. Just a little more effort to preserve the rhyme was maybe needed. Or alternatively to lose it altogether in search of a smoother metre. This is a thought-provoking example of how close we are to getting people to open up and write. So many can, this guy included, but it needs that last bit of desire to create something enduring, instead of just speaking to the wind."
Congratulations again, Psyc - a Polisher will be in tough toot sweet
A47315135 - Unwashed
Secretly Not Here Any More Posted Jun 15, 2009
I'd completely forgotten about this one to be honest...
A47315135 - Unwashed
Trin Tragula Posted Jul 22, 2009
And here is the UG version, for your approval:
A54725222
Key: Complain about this post
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Alternative Writing Workshop: A47315135 - Unwashed
- 1: Secretly Not Here Any More (Feb 10, 2009)
- 2: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Feb 10, 2009)
- 3: Secretly Not Here Any More (Feb 10, 2009)
- 4: Beatrice (Feb 10, 2009)
- 5: Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor (Feb 10, 2009)
- 6: Keith Miller yes that Keith Miller (Feb 10, 2009)
- 7: minorvogonpoet (Feb 11, 2009)
- 8: Secretly Not Here Any More (Feb 11, 2009)
- 9: LL Waz (Feb 11, 2009)
- 10: minichessemouse - Ahoy there me barnacle! (Feb 11, 2009)
- 11: aka Bel - A87832164 (Feb 11, 2009)
- 12: frenchbean (Feb 11, 2009)
- 13: Trout Montague (Feb 24, 2009)
- 14: Secretly Not Here Any More (Feb 24, 2009)
- 15: Beatrice (Feb 24, 2009)
- 16: UnderGuide Editors (Jun 14, 2009)
- 17: Secretly Not Here Any More (Jun 15, 2009)
- 18: aka Bel - A87832164 (Jun 15, 2009)
- 19: minorvogonpoet (Jun 15, 2009)
- 20: Trin Tragula (Jul 22, 2009)
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