A Conversation for Unwashed

Alternative Writing Workshop: A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 1

Secretly Not Here Any More

Entry: Unwashed - A47315135
Author: Psycorp Six-Oh-Three (This bit goes in the brackets) - U219983

My stretcher entry, a tale of Valentine's misfortune and a huge dry cleaning bill.


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 2

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

smiley - applause One poem - clever.


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 3

Secretly Not Here Any More

Cheers dmitri. I really struggle with poems - I can just about reel off something funny or light-hearted, so I thought I'd go the opposite way and do something a bit tragic.

I don't actually think I'll re-read this at any point.


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 4

Beatrice

Well, that would be a shame - love the pathos, clever rhyming.


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 5

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

smiley - biro

Ms GB


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 6

Keith Miller yes that Keith Miller

Liked it: simple in presentation and the story does lead to a good conclusion.


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 7

minorvogonpoet

I like this. smiley - smiley

It tells a believable tale in an amusing mannersmiley - laugh.
The rhymes and half-rhymes at the line end reinforce the impression of a day when everything went wrong


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 8

Secretly Not Here Any More

Well, the rhyming did smiley - winkeye


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 9

LL Waz

I like it too, clever and entertaining.


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 10

minichessemouse - Ahoy there me barnacle!

Ooh smiley - bigeyes Nicely done! you wont find this in a card!

minismiley - mouse


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 11

aka Bel - A87832164

It made me check all my teeth were still in place. smiley - doh

Painful experience, very convincing. smiley - ok


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 12

frenchbean

I like it smiley - ok Makes me wonder what happened next...


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 13

Trout Montague

For what it's worth, Old Spice (plight my troth etc) declared this easily the best of the Valentines. No vote, but praise nonetheless.


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 14

Secretly Not Here Any More

Really? That's encouraging.


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 15

Beatrice

I'm sure it got at least one vote smiley - winkeye


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 16

UnderGuide Editors

It's certainly had some votes now, from UnderGuide Miners as it happens. Many congratulations! smiley - bubbly

You've heard the initial thoughts of our QA in judging this for The Stretcher. Here's what he had to add when considering it for the UG:

"Cleverer than I gave it credit for on first reading. Just a little more effort to preserve the rhyme was maybe needed. Or alternatively to lose it altogether in search of a smoother metre. This is a thought-provoking example of how close we are to getting people to open up and write. So many can, this guy included, but it needs that last bit of desire to create something enduring, instead of just speaking to the wind."

Congratulations again, Psyc - a Polisher will be in tough toot sweet smiley - ok


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 17

Secretly Not Here Any More

I'd completely forgotten about this one to be honest...


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 18

aka Bel - A87832164

Congratulations. smiley - bubbly


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 19

minorvogonpoet

Well done, Psycorp! smiley - bubbly


A47315135 - Unwashed

Post 20

Trin Tragula

And here is the UG version, for your approval:

A54725222


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