h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*A multitude of loud voices are heard from down the street. Cries of horror. And another sound - almost like thunder. Suddenly hundreds of deimosian soldiers are fleeing past the store. Shortly after they are virtually overrun by a giant herd of

In the rear of the herd is seen a person, disguised in a grey cloak, riding an enormous . When all is calm in the streets again he rides up to the storefront and says:*

Hi, all! Any beer left?

*the has arrived*

*As a cold sun rises over Deimos thousands and thousands of reindeer are slowly spreading out around the city, grassing and waiting for their masters command*

We'd better seek cover in the store for a while, comrades. There are still an unknown number of snipers on the rooftops! *whipes blood from his chin that has been grazed by a bullet*

I wonder if they have anything like a "person-radar" in this shop?

Er - who's in charge here, BTW? I clean forgot to pay my respects. Bear with me, please!

Kumabear is in charge. And, more importantly, Wowbagger and Linus are in charge of the bar fridges.

*She tosses the manual on the Nighthawk helicopter to the side.*

Ok, I can fly it now. Anyone want to go for a ride? We could pick off those snipers.

People should know when they are qonquered.

*Grabs a Vulcan Cannon from the back room*

OK mari-rae...lets go!

Took you long enought to get her, Pirate.

here

*after having driven around the block 20 or 30 times, G7 pulls up in front of the store with the newly clean APC*

You were right, Kes! Once you get used to it, these things are easy to drive.

Oh and for anyone who needs it, there's a carwash around the corner. They can do miracles to get paint off.

G7

Pity they don't do buildings...or railway stations

*looks at the and thinks only one thought: Venison*

*Kuma and she get into the fabulous brand new stealthy Nighthawk helicopter. She slides into the pilot's seat and holds the stick in her hand. They lift silently into the air and a slight touch.*

Kumabear, I'm going to come over the rooftops low and fast. Do you think you can get off a shot?

You don't need a clean shot when you have grenades?

that wasn'tintended to be a question

*Notices the approaching enemy helicopters and frantically jumps up and down in an attempt to warn Mari-Rae and Kuma*

Look behind you!!

*More frantic arm waving and jumping up and down*

*Kes has gone to the roof, watching the chopper, and scanning the neighbourhood. He spots a glint of relected light a couple of blocks away, and picks up his radio*

Hey you two - someone's watching you - from the small gardens - about your two o'clock. Wanna give him something to watch? ... Closely?

*Swiftly manuvers the chopper into position, coming up over the gardens. She is delighted with how the big machine responds.*

Do you have a target, Kuma?

*Hopes they don't hit her bike although she's not too concerned about the still struggling traffic warden that is pinned down by said bike*

I thought I saw Gwennie waving her arms at us. Wonder what that is about? ~puzzled~

Mari! Bandits on you tail! Turn the IFF switch to OFF; hold steady for a second!

*Kes shoulders a SAM launcher and lases the first pursuing helo. The launchers soft female voice chip advises:*

::"non-IFF target acquired and in range"

*SAM is launched, and disposes of the helo.*

Mari! One down ... two still with you. Break left - bring 'em over here - take one yoursel if you can, Kuma

*Breaks left - HARD! Comes about, Kumabear is firing out the portside. Return fire rips across the hull of their craft.*

Are we hit? Are we hit?

*Her controls suddenly feel sluggish.*

*Sees the smoke pouring from Mari-Rae & Kuma's stricken helicopter and can't bear to watch*

I can't bear to watch!

*Closes her eyes and sticks her fingers in her ears*

*lays down supressing fire with the APC's few offensive weapons in an attempt to cover mari-rae and Kuma's decent*

That should hel... Hey what is this thing doing??!?!?!

*notices that the main gun seems to fire hyper-accelerated pies*

Well, at least they'll have trouble seeing their target...

*begins targetting the enemy helicoptors domes*

G7