h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Has anyone noticed how the German language is similar to "abbrvs"? Instead of making words shorter they mash whole sentences into single words like "Kluassenstraaserbratwursdtheidinglekleinzlewibble". There was a point to this post, but I can't remember what it was ...

I've been there ... it's a town in Bavaria, a few kms from Grossenkunkelbliebewillkommenhelmutkohl-von-Sassenach

A few kilomometereres I think you meant to right.
I live here, I should know.

I know all about this one, as I have a German mother. (We all have our problems). She often told me how she and her siblings used to make up words for fun. For example, Gesichtvorsprungreinigungsapparat = handkerchief. (Gesicht = face, vorsprung = protrusion, reinigung = cleaning, apparat = apparatus).
If the Germans are capable of this, they are capable of anything.

BTW, the correct German for handkerchief is 'handtuch'.

Mmmn. "Vorsprung durch Technik"? "Protrusion through technology"?

"Vorsprung durch Technik"?
Here in Germany we are so obedient, it means "Jump through that hoop"
England here I come, it is holiday time.

AG

does handkerchief also mean towel? because i am positive that handtuch means towel. and that is why the wonderful line 'hallo handtuch' sounds even nicer in german, because of the two Ha..

** Boring info warning **



Word for word:
Handtuch = Hand towel
Taschentuch = Pocket cloth (Hankie)
Badetuch = bath towel
etc

AG

OK, so I couldn't be bothered to get my German dictionary out. My mother never taught me to speak German (for reasons best known to herself) and I didn't study it at school. I thought I remembered that handtuch meant something like hankie (you could blow your nose on one, after all, but it won't fit in your pocket).

wont fit in your pocket?
speak for yourself!

A Kangaroo

Its a shame that you missed out on learning German at school. English speaking kids derive so much enjoyment out of German words.
Examples include:
Einfach [simple] - (bear in mind that the short German a sounds like "u" in the Southern English "cup", much to the annoyance of Emmanuel Kant);
Anything with Fahrt [travel, journey] in;
Vater [father] ( the German "v" is pronounced f, the a is long now like "ah");
Vati is what German kids call Daddy;

These are the quickest examples I can think of at the moment. Can any body think of any more? Are there any English words that make German schoolkids giggle (Mist [dung] for example)?

I do know that you have to be careful about offering a German a gift, because gift is German for poison.

A past tense form of the word essen (to eat) is ass.

The product we know as Vick in the UK is called Wick here in Germany.
Want to know why?
It is a bit rude so read no further if you are easily offended!
The Germans pronounce V like we do F.
Vick becomes Fick... you can probably already guess that by changing the vowel to a U we get the english translation of the german word Fick. Yes f*ck.
Modesty overcame me at the last moment.


AG

Nice one, Herr Gruntfuttock.
I suppose their is also the old classic "dick" (=thick) which is a joy to the particularly immature, as well as "wanken" (=to stagger) which is more of a visual gag.

There is a mountain near Garmisch called Wank, a reference perhaps to the skiers?

AG

As slang Fick is Actually German slang for fu*k so your post contained two German swear words. I don't call that modest

Er, let me think about that..... My excuse is I was thinking in english and babbling in german. Or something.

AG

I _did_ learn German at school and very useful it proved in various unlikely places like Bulgaria and Cameroon. The first words I learnt from my German pen friend on a visit 40 years ago were "Himmelkreuzmillionenschinderglump - miserabliges". I pass them on in the hope they will be of use to the rest of you

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I think you will find that it means "don't look this up in a dictionary if you want to retain your self-confidence".

AG