h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~*arrives with a small toolbox, containing nails (spare the omlylice!).*

hello everyone. If you're building a tree house you will want these. Don't nail into the tree, nail supports and floor and walls, balconies, dancefloors and stuff around it, please. This tree has quite sentitive skin and will like you if you stroke and hug it now and then. It won't like you if yous stick nails into it.

pj

Oh my! Maybe we shouldn't use Wood to build it then? It might grieve for its lost Brethren......

::Searches about for alternative building material::

Well with all the parties going on there is bound to be Tonnes of empty Beer cans and bottles lying around!

*lowers a bunch of fibre glass planks onto the tree from somewhere up in the sky*

These might do. They're just as strong as wood and don't rot (even without horrible chemicals soaked into them).

And the cans and bottles have been recycled, of course. You don't really expect them to be left lying around here do you!

Yep the fibreglass would work pretty nicely I believe! Hmm, has anybody over here got any knowledge of architecture, because I don't have the faintest glimmer of a clue what to do with all these planks and boards and stuff - where do we put what? How big is this place gonna be?

well its gotta b big enuff 2 house all of us and the squirrels incase it rains!

yeah...make it BIG...

Can I request that the design includes a jacuzzi, sauna and squash court? And, of course, a bar.

Of course Peregrin! Thanks for the suggestions. How many people must the jaccuzi be able to accommodate simultaneously? Only a single squash court? And did you forget, the tree happens to be inside a bar? But of course no law says you can't have a bar in a house in a tree in a bar.

Can't play Squash anymore - so any chance of a Badminton Court? (or a Ballroom that can double as...)

Well,

since this place is entirely made up, we can have an impossible treehouse. Why the heck not. Just don't forget the illuminated dance floor, and squirrellry.

pj

Oooh, Oooh - can I have a Pad, a Brewery, a Dungeon, and a Banana Factory?

Oh and we're gonna need a GooBeret press to make GooBeret Juice for the GooBeret Wine and the GooBeret Brandy!

Cheers

:: at the thought of GooBeret Brandy!::

oooh- GooBeret Brandy! sounds nice!
does that mean we can make GooBeret Brandy-butter as well?!

*peeks in sees interesting tree in middle of bar* Good nice place to hang out. *wanders over to tree climbs up 10 feet or so ask tree if it would mind if she hangs a basket swing from a branch. Then proceeds to hang said swing and climb in. Reaches in to big back pack she was carring and pulls out own personal flying Monkey waiter and sends him to bar for what ever is new drink of the hour.*
Well Finally made it here to this swinging site..* begins to contemplate how high a pounce she would get if fell out of tree.

Scones with GooBeret Brandy Butter and Gooberet Jam all round I think!!!

::Just notices swinging Jem in time to duck out of the way of the fore swing - gets up::

Phew that was close!

::In a very Norman Wisdom Type way gets hit on head by backswing - falls into some random punctuation ,,,;,: ::

i think u need a goo-berry stiffdrink 2 bring u round so u can make the goo-berry scones! *offers *

Okay, the treehouse is coming along great, I've been building hard and so have a variety of other creatures. We have:
1) A huge jaccuzi, can be expanded to accomodate as many folks as wanna use it.
2) A sauna, along the same lines
3) Squash courts
4) Bar
5) Badminton courts
6) Tabletennis courts
7) Tennis courts
8) A number of frigging huge ballrooms where they'll play the music of your choice and there are dancing androids (attractively built, all genders, human as well as squirrel) for giving the inexperienced dance lessons, or in case no appropriate partners are available
9) Illuminated dance floors for those more into freestyle dancing/raving/disco/whatever
10) A squirrelry
11) A weight room and a number of aerobics floors
12) Martial arts classes
13) A rocket pad
14) A brewery
15) A dungeon
16) A banana factory
17) A GooBeret press for squeezing GooBeret Juice for making GooBeret Wine, GooBeret Brandy, GooBeret brandy-butter and other GooBeret products

What more, anyone?

sounds good...

*wnaders in to the bar and looks around for something groovy to dance to, mistakes the sound of hammering in the tree for a tribal drum rythm and slinks over, dancing to the banging*

I say, I've been looking for music in drinking establishments all over this land and this is the first bar that has any, is this drumming not subject to copywrong?

Z.

***no copywrite on that drumming only union dues...unless of course it is non union labor?

Sorry - WHAT WAS THAT.... CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER ALL THIS HAMMERING - YOU'RE GONNA HAF TO SPEAK UP!!!!