h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, sorry, I think I might have swept it into the corner under the brewing equipment.

*Sheepishly extracts hat from under brew vessel and returns it to Ictoan*

mighty quiet in here isn't it? Perhaps the excitement of the last few days was just too much for some folk.

Best check they ain't crashed out in the toilets.

Gets large stick and upturned dustbin lid as defence against the Snug Bog Monster and moves stealthily towards the tasteful 'With' and 'Without' signs at the end of the room.

'I'm just going inside, I may be some time'

Ooo err I hate to think what he'll find. Probably some of Wumbe's old fizzy disco water and other horrors.

*THUD*

*bang*

~squelch~

EURGGHHHHHHH¬!!!

Or possibly even Wumbeevil

It was the EURGGHHHHHHH¬!!! that gave it away wasn't it?

Is he still compos mentis, busy composing some more for us, or meant as compost, decomposing in some far morass?

Munchkin (Shaving for summer), are you saying you had a BEARD?

And you didn't tell me! ...

Hold on, I'll be there in a jiffy (If I can find one big enuf)

*distant shout*

I found something. It groans when i poke it with the stick so I think it might be one of the Snugs patrons. Or maybe a left over pie. Not sure, it's got green fuzzy stuff on it tho', if that helps?

Would Nanny not be worse?

*wonders if anyone has notices the delicate shado green that they have all turned*

Zan, you're the resident expert on green fuzzy stuff. Feeling brave enough to go in?

*pulls on lab-coat and rubber gloves, face mask and goggles*

Here I go...into uncharted territory...the mens...

What? S.H.A.D.O. the top secret government organisation dedicated to preventing an alien invasion of earth from their secret headquarters underneath a film studio just outside of London? Does this mean we all have to wear string vests?
...
Ah, perhaps I got a little ahead of myself there. Oh, and no, no beard, I'm not that advanced, it was just sidies that were reducing my vitamin D intake.

*from mens loos*

Now very secret then is it? What have we here then?

Squelch.

Gloop.

Glug.

Schloooooooooooop

Oi! Give me back me scientific poking stick!!! That cost me lots of bars..

Get away....Go on..shooooo

Erm..

Little help?

Umm, you could use the Apple Juice I have, he ... oi! Where'd the Apple Juice go?

What, this poking stick? Oh, sorry, didn't see the dayglo orange label with 'Zantics Scientific Poking Stick' on the side of it.

Now, what shall I use for poking things?

Hi everyone, has anybody seen our it's green fuzzy stuff, becomes agitated when proded or poked. Hi Eccsy, my thats a large Jiffy your wearing.
Hi boy *scratches Snughound behind the ear* whats that black gunge on the bar and why are you all a delicate shade of green.

Mmmmmmmmm..........
If you must poke something Zantic, stick your finger in that black stuff on the bar and give us your analises of it.

Oi!
Paws off my Baltic Surgeon's toe.

I mean hoe.

err...who's been swapping the keys around on this broad?

Oh woe.