h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My mate Des (the brainy maths type that BB knows, also is called "Minister of Darkness on here) is known a "master chef" by his hall mates... I always thought he was a terrible cook, with no imagination... but he doesn't need it really... just needs to know how to follow a recipe

*Apologises to tink for use of smiley*

*grins*

I can cook quite well... but I have a tendency to forget things if I'm not paying enough attention. If I stay in the kitchen I can cook a good meal - I cooked a great Christmas dinner for 15 students on my own last year - but when I'm cooking just for myself I wander off and get distracted, by my computer, or a book, or a fly.

Oh dear...

New edition of ParanoiaPost out already! http://www.h2g2.com/A466832

(if you're wondering, it's my new pet project. Another h2g2 newspaper, but not quite like the Post...)

*grins but winces at the smiley*
I'm a good cook...
*attempts half hearted protest upon realising that nobody ever believes this owing to the many simple things which she's managed to wreck*
No really...I can cope with overly complex stuff it's just anything that I should be able to do...such as half boiling an egg...I can't cope with
*shudders at the manical smiley*

What do you mean "scary"?

If your porridge is the texture of wallpaper paste, it's far too runny, you know.

It's just occured to me that the witch looks more like Worzel Gummidge. Ah, well.

At least the fish looks like a fish. In fact it looks like a plump Babel Fish.

* kills the fish and fries it *

Fish, anyone?

Do you have bacon? What's vaguely interesting is that the ones designed to look scary just look quite fun to me...but there's definitely an element of Wurzel Gummage which links to the Wurzels which is then scary so I can see where it's coming from
*still can't work out the poking in the eye part*

What's a Wurzel?

Umm...

All together now:

Oi've got a brand new combine 'arvester
And oi'll give you the key...

*wonders how to describe a Wurzel*

Err... It's alleged to be a singer in a band?

Hmmm - A particular band, or just any old band?

The first line of that song... it sounds somewhat semi- almost a little familiar to me, as if in my 19 years I had heard the phrase once, and filed it away for future reference in the deep dark corners of my... oh! That reminds me - I have some files to organize!

*looks in wonder at the person who has managed to banish the memory of the Wurzels*

Ummm the band was called The Wurzels so a Wurzel would be a member of the band I guess...

* runs away screaming in fright *

Okay. I understand now... You know, for anyone from 'overseas', spending half your life on h2g2 is like getting a sound, informal but very thorough british education from scratch - with a dash of German and such here and there.

All this talk of Essex, and the Tube, and the BBC, and the Wurzels...

Yeah, well, but on the other hand I've learnt more about the USA, Germany and the Netherlands than I would have otherwise.

The internet is useful for something at least