h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Leans around tree*

Oh, hey Prez.

*Turns to the tree*

That wasn't very nice of you, Darkwook. It's easy enough getting lost in here, and now you help my competition by knocking them out! Anyway, let's keep going. And no matter how starved I look, no matter how sleep deprived I am, no matter how many ravenous wolves are after me, do *NOT* let me get out of this woods before the other competitors!

*Continues walking in a random direction, and Darkwood resumes stalking just behind Affy, preventing any chance of turning around and retracing his steps*

A sence of impending doom falls upon the olympic hide and seek competitors.

Suddenly, The Phanton Sheep stumbles upon a Mobile Fish and Chip Emporium.

Hello Guv, your the first person I seen all week. Do you know the way out of the woods?
The Phantom Sheep frowns... things don't look rosey

.......hmmm.......i dint see any emporium.....im awful hungry

perhaps i shoulda entered the deck chair competition.....i think they might getta eat....

now if i could only find my way...wait whats that...*puts hand to brow...blocking glare of sun*....i think i see somone over behind the trees.......ill just go on over and see if they know where we are....lol

*Affy walks into a clearing that has only one exit not totally blocked by trees and other foliage. Affy turns to leave, and sees Darkwood*

Okay, Darkwood. There's nothing I can do *but* go back, so it's okay.

*Darkwood rattles his leaves, reminding Affy that Affy said not to let him go back on his trail under any circumstances*

What? Where else am I supposed to go, then?

*Darkwood shrugs*

The Phantom Sheep, alone and lost in the woods, thinks to him self. "After 2 weeks, is the aim of this competition to get lost in the woods, or to get out of the woods?"

If it IS to get lost in the woods, may be we should make our way to the finishing area. I think it's this way...

The Phantom Sheep, lost and hungrey, finally gets lucky.

A clearing in the woods reveals a yellow brick road:

==========================================================================================================================================================================================
The sound of munchkins can be heard in the distance .

TPS does the only sensible thing and turns around, back in to the woods.

*Meanwhile, Affy is trying to reason with Darkwook*

Darkwood, look. I think you know perfectly well that this kind of thing is an exception to then rules.

*Darkwood shrugs*

A very successful getting lost event - as commentator even my posting a few days ago got lost. Spooky eh?

*Very succesful, indeed. *

*Meanwhile, Affy has set up camp in the small ring of trees*

Okay, Darkwook. I've going to try and get to sleep, because it's getting dark out. Now, tonight I don't want you to do that creepy thing where you walk right next to me and lean down so your leaves are right over my head. That's just creepy. And I'm to young to have that kind of blood pressure problems.

*Affy decides not to risk it and enter a tent instead of sleeping outside. While inside, Affy plots how to get around Darkwood*

*wakes up from a stupor*

Huh?

Uh... yuh.

*Turns to a tree*

So erm, you... like uh, stuff?

Do the trees often answer back?

Do tree get morning wood?

*Just so everyone knows, Darkwood is a special kind of tree, usually only found in Zork, Middle-Earth, and a few other various places. Oh, which forest are we in? Are we in the Aroma Cafe's Majic Forest? Are we in the Moxon Wood at the base of Mt. SandEverest? Are we in some as-yet unnamed gathering of trees?*

*Affy peaks out of the tent. It is just barely dawn. Darkwood has moved just far enough out of the way for Affy to sneak out. Affy quietly packs up the camp, and is about to leave when Darkwood quickly wakes up and jumps in the way. It chuckles at Affy's distressed look before moving aside and finally letting him through*

Okay, now to get back to *legally* being lost in the woods...

hmmm..........*ib looks around*.........i wonder how we will know which one of us is the winner..........perhaps the only way to tell is ........gee.......i dunno really.......anyhow........

all i know for sure is i been hopelessly lost for bout 2 weeks now.......lol.....*looking off down what looks to be a well trodden path*....i guess i will go this way and see can i find the comentator and ask him who is winning.........

*Affy is wandering through the forest, singing an ancient dwarvish tune*


Hi ho,
Hi ho,
It's off to work we go...

...........hmmm.....i think i hear someone singing off to my left...i think i will go see whats over there....

I think I hear someone coming to see what my singing's about. I'll surprise them.

*Climbs Darkwood*

Commentator:

Err sorry- got a bit lost there...those woods sure are scary *shudder*. I think I'll stick to this lovely hot air balloon full of iced champagne and chocolate and watch with my binoculars...

*munch munch, slurrp, slurrp, giggle, giggle*

..what?.. oh yes- commentary...

Yes and they're all pretty lost by now. Affy's climbed a tree, but all he can see is more trees. ibchristine is wandering round in ever-decreasing circles, the Phantom Sheep has found a clearing of phantom grass and if there's anyone else in there they'rre so lost I can't see them. Well there's not much in it- they're all looking good still- anyone's race.

*commentator picks up Y of champagne and [] of chocolate*
Ha looks nice and green down there.

*chuckles*
He didn't see me!
He didn't see me!
Nobody can!

But this isn't hide and seek eh?
Hm.
I think it's THIS way. Yes, that's the way out! It is, it must be!

*walks off in an entirely different direction*

*Looks leisurely down whilst sipping champagne*

Oh yes there's another one - he's lost alright. Snigger snigger.