h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*laughs from the table*
*search for magic bottle*
Aha! Got it!
*frinks purple potion*
*drops his robe and shows his wings*
Good old purple.

*ZIIIIIP Cher Witch is right against Sultandudes chest*
"You rang?" *Cher narrows her eyes to a thin glare...beems of grey light shine into Sultandudes eyes...for a moment he is unable to breath...Cher blinks before he passes out* "Oh say...
can you or can you not tell the difference between danger and fun?!? Answer the question!!! I want to be SURE you are fit to understand what is about to happen to you?" *evil stare*

"Aha fair Cher witch bitch *THINKS- I preferred babe but everytime I try to say babe it comes out bitch* never underestimate the superpowers of Kabuki Man."

*Grabs Cher witch bitch and pushes off up though the mist towards the ceiling for a spot of ariel copulation as the Viagra dust has totally kicked in*

"Yo juke box slave, put on Californication."

*jukebox slave is eating its morning fish*
*sudden silence*
*group of 20 knights comes from the back door and start present Camelot-song*

"Oooo Sultandude...I, er, ah what the Hell!!!" *this is gonna' take all night!!! I haven't been made love to like THIS since...........
well, since yesterday afternoon* *Damn...& Lord LeGrey just came back...oh well...this nasty chap will do...after all, sex is only dirty if you're doing it right!*

*Oh well copulation is copulation, music is only for the tempo, any beat works for me but my preference is Dark Side of The Moon CD on auto-repeat*

*Whispers in Cher witches ear* "Oh, that feels sooooooo good! *Replaces whisper with tongue*
*Replaces tounge with whisper* "One more?"

"Ekk...not my ear that makes me crazy!!! What do you mean one more?!? OnlyONE more?!? Well, if that's all you're UP for!" *wicked laugh by a goose bump covered sweaty Witch*

"Can only manage one orgasm at a time Fair Cher!"

"But..............................................























can handle many times!!!!!

*Casually regards the cavorting pair near the ceiling and turns to her sister Susan/Witch*

Methinks that our sister, Cher/Witch will wear that Sultandude to a thread as he doesn't seem up for much in spite of that Viagra dust! One orgasm at a time, indeed!!!!

*Nibbles on an olive whilst sipping her mulled wine and waves to the half eaten human who waves back while part of his intestine slips to the floor*

You really should try wearing some bandages dear!

"I want you to understand..this is against my wishes!" *whispers
Ooo, baby - baby*

*THINKS-OHoh, this is beginning to sound like date rape, I hope she's only Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Too late erm, joking.*

Whispers in her ear, "Cher darlin' shall we retire to the bar for a refresher and another sprinkle of dust?"

"Retire? Yes I shall retire to my cottage for a bath & fresh gown.
You've quiet torn this dress to shreads." *past 4am...time for Cher to rest for the next...whatever* "Yo Gwennie...he's all yours!
See you in a few hours! His weak spot is his...oh never mind, you'll find it for sure! And keep your paws off Lord LeGrey...I have major plans for THAT ONE!!!! I may just need all three of us for what I have in mind!" *exits with a wicked giggle*

Well, you'd better ahem..."come down" soon because we're all getting stiff necks down here...

*Nudges Susan/witch and whispers*

That man is sooooo..."easy"!!

Oh bugger!
*slips through the magic portal*

*Sultandude floats down to the bar somewhat confused, he grabs himself a Sparkling Pussy and ponders the scenario*

THINKS-Now then. firstly I do the gentlemanly thing and I fly Cher Witch Bitch home, run smack into a spaceship with all three Witch Bitch's (I really do prefer the word Babes but every time I say it, it comes out Bitch's) and Pierce the Pirate on board, whereupon Michelle Witch Bitch pukes all over my feet, have a shower, spin around three times to become Kabuki Man again, and now I'm back at the bar. This is turning into a truly mostly awesome party dude-

*Kabuki Man floats over to Michelle and Susan Witch Bitch's and whispers into Michelle's ear*

"Any powder left? I seem to be flagging a touch."

*Replaces whispeer with soft probing hot tongue just for a microsecond.*


"Who's next?"

*Wipes out her ear with a handkerchief, slowly closes in on Sultandude meaningfully, then suggestively sniffs around his neck and face before stepping back slightly to survey the goods and pouts provocatively*

Tough luck sweetie! We're not into "second-hand goods"...

However, there's half eaten human over there if you're really desperate!

*blindeing light streams in through the cracks in te door which is suddenly torn off it's hinges and smashes sultandude into the oppersite wall. SLaTfatF lowers the S.C.Y.T.H.E turns 90˚ and strides in tip of the S.C.Y.T.H.E bounceing on the flood as it moves in time with his right leg*

HI, is this fancy dress I never can tell with you people

[Susan/Witch]

*Gives him a long lingering look from head to toe, and back again. Stands up. Puts her arms around his neck and places her mouth near his ear.*

~whispers huskily~















But darling man, I am an Avalanche fan.

*allows himself a grin*

thats very nice but right now I need a drink

I think we had a simulpost back there, I had my arms around Sultandude when you made your entrance. Help yourself to a drink then!

*Goes over to Sultandude.*

Are you all right? ~concerned~