Fiction Weird Science First/Personals Kitchen SyncronicitiesSatire

Are you comfortable? Stop squirming and fidgeting. There's plenty of time for that yet, as the CAC Continuum is getting all hot and flustered this issue.
Phewff! It's steaming up as we look at something that everybody¹ thinks about.
Men more than women apparently. But that's a matter for the theologists.
Oh, what is it? Sorry, got all distracted by heaving bosoms and perspiring thighs.
As promised last issue we bring you SEX. And all it's various accoutrements.
So slip into something more comfortable and enjoy!

A little light foreplay to begin if you don't mind.
In the spirit of free love we signal the return of the continuing adventures of the Peacenik Vogon!
Read on for more titillation! (and expect a new chapter next issue)

If music be the food of love play on? There's much to be said for a fiddle. A violin or a piano are grand, and an organ is a must, but nothing is as special as the sweet lyrics of a tune. Music may well be the food of love, but what then is poetry? An aperitif to romance? Perhaps.
So have a nibble on this -

Sex is all well and good. But sometimes it needs a little more...well, assistance. For all eternity men and women have worked long and hard to bring a bit of a spark to the business beneath the sheets. Even back in the Dark Ages cloistered nuns, ladies-in-waiting and even the odd damsel in distress needed more than a knight in shining armour for relief. There's only so much jousting a girl can take.
So what was the answer? The vibrator.

Leaving the Dark Ages beihnd, let's move onto the modern age. Technology has its place. This place more often than not is in a dark secluded room. So why not let the whole world see what's in that room! Film it! Film the dark secluded room and all its sordid contents. Even if the room is in the hotel somewhere. Be it the Ritz, the Park, or at a push, the Hilton...
The CAC Continuum thus brings you -

As with anything, the subject of sex can have disturbing factors. There's many avenues of the experience that are best not mentioned. So we'll go ahead and let them be mentioned -

It is always right to return to the classics when summing up a complex and ribald subject. Anais Nin, Beardsley, Shelley, Wilde, D.H Lawrence and Lady Chatterley. But what is this?! Oh! Be still my beating heart! Tremble not my moist and quiversome lips! Falling from a dusty annul in the erotic library of an elderly doctor, a single sheet of yellowing paper holds the tale of -

And we're spent.
Remember if you like what you see, leave a message with the relevant Researcher.
You can always suggest writing for the CAC Continuum either by contacting
The Post, by getting in touch or by visiting us at our own place.

This week's CAC Continuum was intimately stroked and cajoled by Frood

as part of the Committee for Alien Content's Continuing search for truth and a wider audience.

The CAC Continuum Archive


We gratefully acknowledge the support of the h2g2 UnderGuide

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