Beastiality and his cousin Bob
Created | Updated Jun 28, 2005
Question: What is Bestiality? Why, the loving of animals of course. The human right for a quicky in the pet shop. The search for the divine in an animal's rear end. A quick search of the W.W.W, Will Will Will find numerous sites devoted to the subject. In fact according to one search engine, 1,730,000 sites were found with bestiality in them, (Cue usual jokes about, 'well how do you know about all that then, hur, hur, hur. I only looked for research, [hur, hur, hur.])
I'm speaking from a British point of view of course. But then I recently had an epithany. Then I had a Korma. Then I was struck by a thought. Which hurt a lot. Then I was...(Editor cuts out the four pages of rubbish jokes based on the limitations of the english language)...which felt like a huge lawnmower running over my groin.
I suddenly thought...
...From a British point of view, bestiality, whilst definitely not a usual sexual practice, is probably safer than visiting a prostitute. Animals have more rights than most people, are better cared for, eat better food, have a better quality of life, and have less of a risk of giving you herpes, then scarpering off with all your money.
Mind you, we have it easy in Britain. If you enjoy bestiality, we have good natured animals to have relations with, dog, cat and sheep being the obvious. But what's it like in other countries?
Africa: Lions and Tigers - Beautiful animals, but probably not a good lay. Not the sort of thing you want to wake up next to in the morning. Saying you went bed with a 'tiger' in Britain means you had a good time with a gorgeous girl. You'll NEVER hear that said in Africa. (Unless it's as a eulogy at a funeral)
Australia: Kangaroos - You're almost certainly looking at a hernia problem if you try that (plus major complications if your bounce-to-thrust ratio gets out of sync.)
America: This is a tough one, as most animals there now were brought in from other countries, and the ones that were already there were shot when us foreigners arrived. Although, in the case of the few Buffalo still there, just 'See Africa'.
Australia again: Alligators, Crocodiles and Snakes - not sure about this one. Sure they look dangerous, but that Crocodile Hunter on TV always looks pleased with himself after a particularly good wrestle with a croc. (Strewth! Blimey! What a tussle, etc, etc [add any homo-erotic/racially abusive pun here)
...Quite a long sudden thought, but there we go.
Bottom Line: Bestiality is not something I would care to try, and to pre-empt any replies to this article, have never tried.
But whatever rocks your boat, heh?
I'm speaking from a British point of view of course. But then I recently had an epithany. Then I had a Korma. Then I was struck by a thought. Which hurt a lot. Then I was...(Editor cuts out the four pages of rubbish jokes based on the limitations of the english language)...which felt like a huge lawnmower running over my groin.
I suddenly thought...
...From a British point of view, bestiality, whilst definitely not a usual sexual practice, is probably safer than visiting a prostitute. Animals have more rights than most people, are better cared for, eat better food, have a better quality of life, and have less of a risk of giving you herpes, then scarpering off with all your money.
Mind you, we have it easy in Britain. If you enjoy bestiality, we have good natured animals to have relations with, dog, cat and sheep being the obvious. But what's it like in other countries?
Africa: Lions and Tigers - Beautiful animals, but probably not a good lay. Not the sort of thing you want to wake up next to in the morning. Saying you went bed with a 'tiger' in Britain means you had a good time with a gorgeous girl. You'll NEVER hear that said in Africa. (Unless it's as a eulogy at a funeral)
Australia: Kangaroos - You're almost certainly looking at a hernia problem if you try that (plus major complications if your bounce-to-thrust ratio gets out of sync.)
America: This is a tough one, as most animals there now were brought in from other countries, and the ones that were already there were shot when us foreigners arrived. Although, in the case of the few Buffalo still there, just 'See Africa'.
Australia again: Alligators, Crocodiles and Snakes - not sure about this one. Sure they look dangerous, but that Crocodile Hunter on TV always looks pleased with himself after a particularly good wrestle with a croc. (Strewth! Blimey! What a tussle, etc, etc [add any homo-erotic/racially abusive pun here)
...Quite a long sudden thought, but there we go.
Bottom Line: Bestiality is not something I would care to try, and to pre-empt any replies to this article, have never tried.
But whatever rocks your boat, heh?
