h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*picks self up from floor*

*walks unsteadily over to Mari-Rae*

Hello, lemme extend the handshake of welcome...

*proffers hand, realises that's the hand with a PGGB in it, offers it to Mari-Rae instead*

But be careful, they can be a leetle shtrong

*tries to tap finger on side of nose, misses, loses balance and says hello to the floor again*

*Holds the drink in her hand.*

Are you all right?

*Sniffs the drink suspiciously.*

NOoooooo!!!!! Don't even smell it if you don't want to end up very unsteady.

*watches as Mari-Rae reels from the olfactory rush*
*sighs*

I warned you.



Have you found someone to check you in, yet? I'm afraid I can't be of help, as I already have a roommate, and I think it would be a little crowded if I offered you a bed.

If not I will do it
*bothe the whimen spin round to look at a dark corner where Bob is sitting with a bottle of scotch in one hand*

ICQ just collapsed, I have to reboot, St.Bob.

*Kes enters, still reeling from the events of the day. He has decided to go for a new record ... 5 PGGBs. He picks five glasses at random - all different, puts them on a tray, fills them from the jug of PGGB, and moves to the archair where he left his laptop yesterday. Setting the tray on the table, and firing up the laptop .. the attempt commences*

Here's to PGGB number 1. Cheers! *Gurgle, clunk*

So ... my new love, my little convent girl, has decided ... for "purely commercial reasons" .. to abandon me in favour of dear brother. Just so the money's safe. Hic. In the safe.
All money and numbers..... Emotional Maths 101 ... let's see if it adds up, shall we?

Yesterday ... things were good. calculate ... 2+2 .... answer>4

Number 2 going down .... *Gurgle, clunk*

*Selects the desktop calculator on the laptop*

2+2 ... = ....4
Sorry, wrong answer.
2+2 ... = ....4
2+2 ... = ....4
2+2 ... = ....4

Silly calculator - no values assigned to love. Got to measure your life in love ..
2+2 ... = ....4
You don't get it, do you ... silly machine.

*Puts it down*

Good ole' PGGB ... number three - down the hatch *Gurgle, clunk*

No value for love .... so why should I worry about it, heh? You tell me - silly machine. Hmm? Don't know, do you?
Not worrying,.. not caring ... just floating ... sinking.
If I don't care, how come I feel like this? Huh? Tell me that.
Fancy me being jealous of anyone ... jealous of my brother ... lucky sod!

*He thumps the table. The glasses rattle*

*The rattling attracts Kes's now limited thought processes*

Ah! There you are, my trusted friends. Come here ... number 4. Stop trying to move - escape is futile. *Gurgle, Clunk*

Just one left.
*He looks at it - a spark of recognition?*
Where do I know you from?
*It is a pewter goblet, embossed with carvings of sailing ships*
Did i give you ... are you a gift I gave someone ... somewhere else? An unused gift ... gone from jumble sale to sale ... finally coming here ... Who did you belong to?

*Words from a distant island whisper faintly ...*

"This is for you ... your to fill with tears, or wine , as is your pleasure"

*Kes toasts the previous owner, downs the contents, and pauses. A small, warm internal flame is extinguished. He relaxes back in the chair and turns the day off.*

(leans over the bar and pours herself a rom and coke)

"Nice place you got here..."

(takes a sip of her drink)

"hear you need a name though"

(thoughfully ponders this over her drink)

"how about The Galaxy Pub..."

Hey, sorry about that, it only showed me the first 12 messages when I replied to this... Now I feel like a complete fool

* M.K saunters in casually... *

Well Hi there Dax !!!

Gee, everyone is allowed to make mistakes...

* He lifts the lid of the bar hatch... *

So what are you having ???

Lord M.K*

*Carefully sets the PGGB down on the bar. Turns back to Bob in the corner with the scotch. Steps over Tashall.*

Yes, I'd like to check in, and then check out the facility.

*Watches the guy with the calculator mumble on to his mug.*

Wow!

*Smiles at M.K. *

"Well, if you´re buying, that rom and coke does sound good... Easy on the coke "

*sits down in the bar chair and wiggles her hair around her finger in a flirting maner...*

* M.K hears Mari-Rae and thinks 'didn't I deal with this earlier ???' *

* Still, he can't be mad with such a lovely, attractive individual...' *

I've have already attended to your needs young lady at reception...

* He turns to the young lady who is now toying with her hair, M.K has to resist the urge to reach over and untie all of her tresses, so he can look upon her radiant beauty as nature intended... *

Why, you can have this one on the house, as I am the only one around to serve you...

Lord M.K*

*Blusshes*

"Why thank you kind Sir..."

*Smiles sweetly and bats her eyes at M.K.*

"So, come here often?"

Running through the door puffing and panting...... Hey have you guys seen Smugder?......
His about 2 foot tall green with a purple tail, his names Smugder but to his friends his known as Mr Pooberry.
He doesn't say much, you'd be lucky to hear him Meow at least once!

Smugder!!!!!!!...........SMUGDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......

I think I saw him a minute ago... Was he the one wearing those little, really out of style pink sun-glasses?

My god thats him!!!!!!!...Which way did he go?????

* M.K returns from follow Lord Sin out of the room still looking perplexed... *

I'm terribly sorry, I'm the Lord of Manor and I still don't know what that was all about...

* He tries to regain his composure... *

Well, we haven't seen you around these parts before.

Why don't you tell me something revealing about yourself ???

Lord M.K*