h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Of course, where else would a strange drink come from?

Dunno...... Peru?

Dear me, seems a few people are not in a good frame of mind here today (tonight)

If there is another PGGB to be had, it's got my name all over it...

*slips on elegant black armband at thought of GB's plight*

Yes - sounds like the whole bar's in PGGB territory - One for me too, please.
Poor GB! At least the other end of the country is closer than the other end of the globe!
Cheers! Here's to true love, false love, and all the shades of grey in between!

*Ching ching*

*Notices that his glass has been "chinged"*
Hi. My - isn't the armband a trifle too dramatic? I thought only male spiders actually died of love?

Daahhling, if one passes up the opportunity to be dramatic at Foxy Manor, one might not be taken very seriously.

It's not just spiders that die from love, remember Romeo and Juliet? Although the arm band in this instance is for the thought of another LDR in the pipeline, the death of convenient love affairs if you will...

*motions to bartender for another PGGB*

Make that two, thanks.

No - they only take you seriously here if you're not dramatic - a bit of drama lets you get away with all sorts.

"Convenient love affairs" ..... always thought that was an oxymoron !
Cheers - here goes PGGB #2

*jumps up suddenly, leaps up and swings from chandelier*

Is that dramatic enough?

*drops back to the bar floor, panting slightly*

God, it's been ages since I've done that. I think I'll switch to margaritas, these PGGBs are making me feel a little odd.

*hopes noone will make obvious rejoinder at wide open remark*

*Kes produces two pieces of white card from his poskets, and holds them up ..... 5 . 9 *

PGGBs are interesting, but changing can be worse ... Mind you there's another chandelier over there, so suit yourself. My event is hanging on to the floor and not falling off - quite good at that.

LOL, yes but letting go can sometimes be fun

*drains margarita in one go*

Must dash, as RL w*rk is getting on top of me.

*vaults through door over nearby table, executing perfext dismount into hallway*

* RING!!!!!! that's a mobile phone, though...

Kes, it's PE! If you're not too busy now, could you meet me... I think we should decide about what we are going to do... The business matter, remember? Your evil twin!

I'm waiting at the garden... don't take too long.

See you.

*Kes gulps down his drink, pockets the phone, picks up the laptop, and walks to the garden*

*Stagers back in Looking conpleatly sober just pissed off minus all the scoch*
Any more scocharrived yet....no oh well.
*waks off in to a dark corner and sems to dissaper*

Come here, Peaceful. Sit down. I wish you'd tell me what the problem is ... oh well,

*Desperate remedies - Kes mixes two PGGBs, then sits next to Peaceful*

(Do I want all this cancelled, so I can get on with doing business the old way, or do I like the new way? Well, if she can sit quietly and think, so can I)

Peaceful?

Cheers!

Kes, I am going to tell you all about it. I was not going to, but I think
I must. It is also your concern. But you mustn't act hastily after I tell
you. That would not be wise. You must also take some time to think this
over. We must remain calm.

No, don't panic. No need... No, fainting will not help, I almost tried
that too... we will only lose precious time.

You must listen to what I have to say. No, don't interrupt. No, just
listen, please.

I now remember you said we could annul the marriage. That would be one idea. The other is - your twin is identical... so we can make use of that... Do not be worried about what I will now show you. There are two simple ways to solve this... just listen.

First, I must show you this:

* Shows Kes a very interesting photograph.

Here, you see the nice French Maid, you are there, and I am too. This is a very compromising photograph. Here is the note I received along with it. No, please do stop hyperventilating. We can easily solve this.

Either we annul the marriage, or we can prove I have really married your brother. This way we can continue to foil his evil plans.

It is simple, even I could think that one up, even in this nervous condition I find myself in right now.

* Takes such a large sip of the PGGB that the glass is emptied in 10 seconds.

*One way to stop hyperventilating is to become completely calm, at one with the universe. The other is to have a large stiff drink. Kes opts for Plan B*

Gulp!

*He pours out two more ...*

That's ... diabolical -- but only if we can "prove" who it is. ... and perhaps we can.

(But if we do that, where does it leave us, Peaceful?)

*He take another drink, and faces her*

Nowhere, Peaceful - that's where!
(Damn - didn't mean to say it out loud)

*Peaceful looks at him strangely*

* PE really can't understand what Kes had meant when he'd said "Nowhere".

* After all, where is "nowhere"? Really a good question - the ancient greeks would make their usual mess -- I am an athenian and tell only the truth, I am now lying, of course, and I am nowhere... that sort of mixup.

* But the other oriental schools really had a nice time with 'nowhere' -

* Really, how could he say such a thing to her, after all they had been through!!! If they were really nowhere, it was such a nice place to be.

No, Kes, look around. We are here at the Bar. You must learn to pay more attention to your surroundings. Really. Now we only have to concentrate a little more, soon the problem will be solved.

* Quickly sips her second glass of PGGB, within 9 seconds, it is also emptied.

I think the best idea is to prove that I have married your brother. As you are identical, and the witnesses are so friendly, there will be no difficulties... it will be quite simple, really. It has been so nice being married to you... but, that's life. We must save your business, and my family's business. I think that would be the best way...

*Kes shakes his head, pours two more PGGB*

No - won't work. Silly idea. Not letting my brother steal my girl. Hic!
Damn the business.
D'you want to be married to him?