h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Mumbles into his drink*

That Will chap's taken all the ice cubes. No damn ice cubes. What the hell does he want with all those ice cubes?

*Re-enters with large bucket of ice. Pours ice into sink, Pours PGGB into pint mug, adds one cube of ice. Drinks*

OOCEAANS APAAAART, DAAAY AAAFTEER DAAYAYAY, AND IIIIIIIII THIIIIIINK IIIII'M GOOOOOOOOING INSAAAAAANE.
IIIIIII HEEEEEEEAR YOOOOOOUR VOOOOOIICE OON THE LIIIIIIIIYIYIYNE, AAAAAND I JUUUUUUST CAAAAAN'T TAAAAAAAAKE THE PAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIN !

*Shakes head, sniffs, blows nose, attempts to focus*
*addresses the completely empty bar*

Sorry about that - first one of the day, don't y' know. Nobody take my seat. I'm going for a look round this place - get my bearings.

*Wanders back into Reception*

*Determined to continue his explorations in comfort, Kes grabs a half-full bottle of Comfort (Southern), tops it up with crushed ice, and inserts a straw. Then he heads for the ballroom*

*Jezery shyly peeps her head in the door. She's pretty new to all this internet stuff.*

Hello, can I have a lemon squash please?

*Kes strides in, in a furious temper*

Bloody place - damn staff! Dead loss!

*He sees Jezery, and decides to be ultra-charming*

Ah! Do excuse me, my dear - please ignore my outburst. What a charming thing you are, indeed.
*Controls the urge to drool*
Here - allow me to get you a drink. Lemon squash? Much better with vodka, my dear.
Cheers. What brings you here?

*Jezery looks up uncertainly - not sure whether she likes this guy or whether he is just another slimey snake on the make*

I'm just looking around. I haven't been here before.
Are you sure that vodka is a good idea?

Jez - check your "My Space" (Homepage) for a new conversation OK?
Vodka? Just the job to warm up a young thing like yerself ...
but I'll leave it out until you decide. Just have the squash for now, and think about it for a couple of minutes.

Lemon drop please with Absolute, barkeep, I've had a hard day swimming in alphabet soup. WOL, JLC the TTp

Please find me some poetry... I don't hang out in bars, I'm alergic to smoke. Anything romantic will do. thanks, Worlds of Love, JLC the TTp

You'll be lucky. No damn staff on duty. 'Sa disgrace! I'm going to tell the manager.
*Manages to mangle up the production of something in a glass with squished lemon, and almost the right vodka*
Try that. Cheers!

Sorry about the simulpost. ... also sorry about the drink - not my forte. Drinking 'em, yes, making 'em, not really. Try A414262 for a first try - some WOL there - at least in the intent.

You're a Saint Kes, A lemon drop should have sugar around the rim like a Margarita, but served in a Martini Glass. Let the Barkeep know, ya'll seem to have it going on. I would like to get virtually drunk sometime. I get terrible migraines the next day if I try to do it in a real bar. they tell me I should go to California, no one is allowed to smoke there.
I know I am demanding, Ask and ye shall recieve, so I do. May I please have some poetry...I'm going to sleep now, but I would love to wake up to some. WOL, JLC the TTP My bath of esencial rose absolute is kicking my butt. niteZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

* M.K strides in... *

Oh... somebody moved the Bar !!!

Lord M.K*

I told you - somebody better move the barsteward here as well ... and some ice. Hey! wait!

Oh - and wherever that JLC the TTP woman's gone - tell her to check her homepage. Hic!

*clatter of high heels
GB looks around, trying to get her bearings....
Puzzled, she clatters across the floor, showing just a ~little~ too much stocking top for this time on a morning....

*GB reaches the bar, she looks around.
Strange, this doesn't look at all familiar.
I must have been really drunk last night, she thought.
Nope, don't remember being THAT drunk.
Something strange going on here....she turns to leave and

She didn't even notice Kes, who had crept in quietly behind her.
Her heart pounding, she hoped he wouldn't recognize her...
No chance of that, she thought, he's far too busy looking up my dress, from his position below me on the floor!

Ahhh! Ahh! Come here, little lovely. Let me buy you something stiff to start the day with .. while you tell me what little tart is in charge of cleaning my room.

Ooh, sir, er, I am in charge of cleaning your room! What room is it? Are you not happy with it? There is a Jester going around, you know sir, causing all sorts of trouble...
Er, I will clean your room momentarily, sir, and yes, I would like a stiff one...

*Hadn't really heard a word - eyeballs were taking up all processing capability - now trying to recall audio from backup*
A Jester, you say! Oh, well, I suppose - sort of tin cans behind the car, that type of thing, eh?
Well, it couldn't be your fault, you're much too ... too much ... er
Hop up here and have this funny looking vodka thing that got left behind. Cheers.
Then I'll tell you all my problems, and you can console me, eh?