h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey ! Hey ! What do you think you are doing !!!

Can't a man sob in private !!!

That's it, I'm sending you out to one of the guestrooms...

So I can get some well deserved peace & quiet !!!

* He ponders then hands the maid the pillow... *

Infact, you can stay here...

* M.K stomps off to Guesthouse No.6... *

Lord M.K*

Hmmmmmmmmmm
Lord M.K* *did* invite me to stay here, it's in the last post! What a great memory I have!
*looks at the luxorious bed...
*touches the mattress...
Ooh, I'll be nice and comfortable in here, and no-one will ever know where I am!
*removes french maid's outfit...
Oh, damn, none of my clothes are in this room, I guess I'll just have to sleep naked...
*climbs under the quilt & goes straight to sleep....

*GB practically crawls into the lovely room, undresses and is fast asleep before her head even hits the pillow....

* M.K returns to his former sleeping quarters, as drunk as a lord... *

* He stumbles over to sideboard cupboard, removes his clothes & crawls into bed... *

* He falls fast instantly asleep after a tiring day... *

GB yawns, stretches, reaches out, feels something stiff.....
Ooh, my back!
Gets out of bed, does some gentle stretching exercises, goes off to have a shower.
Dries, dresses in a clean french maids uniform, pops a tiniest drop of Chanel No. 5 on her pulse spots & behind her knees, and glances over at the sleeping Lord.
As she passes by his side of the bed on her way to w*rk, she leans down and kisses his forehead...
The Lord stirs in his sleep and mutters something that sounded like..."Effsee, Effsee".
GB smiles & tiptoes out of the room, stilletto shoes in her hand.

* M.K dreams away about being on a sundrenched beach embracing a beautiful young lady whose delicate skin has presently turned a deep shade of vermillion... *

He gradually wakes up wondering why there is crumpled french maids uniform on the bed... *

Oh My !!!

Lord M.K

GB runs into the room.
She strips, showers, washes her hair, defuzzes, manicures, pedicures and tweaks her eyebrows.
Standing in a large, fluffy towel in front of the floor-length mirror, she plugs in her hair drier & proceeds to dry her hair, teasing it into little ringlets. After pulling her hair through two coloured bands, and applying a little gel to the ends of the curls, she looks at the finished result in the mirror.
Oh, goodness! I haven't had a hairstyle like that since I was 12 years old! It's perfect!
Opening the wardrobe, she selects the white blouse, which feels soft and satiny against her freshly-washed skin. Stepping into a pair of navy blue knickers, she giggles at the reflection standing in front of her. If M.K* could see her now! Now where's that navy pleated mini-skirt? Ah, here it is, and the white knee-socks...
*sits on the bed to put the socks on
*looks in M.K*'s wardrobe for a striped tie.....aha!
*puts tie on very loosely
*surveys reflection....does a twirl....
Just the satchel, now!
With a satisfied smile, GB leaves the room, depositing her french maids uniform in the laundry basket on her way out....

Oh, well....19 hours later and I suppose I *must* change out of this schoolgirl's outfit now....what a shame Lord M.K* missed it....
*removes school uniform
*showers
*dresses in french maid's uniform
*clatter of high heels

* The security cameras purr away in the corners of the room... *

* Capturing a truly Kodak moment... *

Lord M.K*

*ROFL*

* The lord of the manor comes stumbling in carrying his own cases muttering about something about the barbaric nature of living in a place below my station... and not having his multi-screen televisual unit to play around with... *

* He grabs most of the french maids clothes and piles them in a laundry basket and exits to room 16... *

* He returns and makes sure the camera playback unit is in full working order... *

* A flash of knee high socks & pleated skirts is glimpsed onscreen... *

* Several hours later the video handset needs new batteries... *

Lord M.K*

*leaves a not on the door:
MK, mr kes would like to speak with you regarding his room... please hurry, as he seems to be rather irate about the whole thing. also a stratgonius V (???) would like to have a hunting party here. i told him he would have to ask you, since i wasn't too sure on the hunting. they will be in GH2. thank you, sea. *

*clatter of high heels
*knock knock
No answer.
GB unlocks the door & enters.
She starts to tidy up the Lord's bedroom....{taking her time}

* A crumpled figure groans from the bed... *

* He whispers... *

F.C... ???

* He looks shagged out, but the mild cardiac arrest the Vicar induced, may have something do to with it... *

* He whispers... *

water...

Lord M.K*

Ooh! Lord M.K*! You gave me such a fright, you did! What's that you said? Water? Oh, dreaming you were having a bath, were you Sir?
*starts tidying the bedcovers

* He thinks about revisiting memory lane... *

* ...but he fears his heart might skip a beat or two again... *

* Plus of course, he might open up the whole pandora's box of remorse... *

* The hoarsy whispers... *

water... please

Lord M.K*

*hands over a glass of water....
My, we are sleepy this morning, aren't we?
*puts hands under bedcovers to straighten the sheet....

* ...at least part of him is awake *

Lord M.K*

Good morning Sir!
Wide awake this morning I see!

Yes, quite 'perky' as they say...

A new day always welcomes the early riser...

Lord M.K*