h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sits on the bed...*

oh darling, come lie down. its all been a rather stressful day for me...

*knock knock
"Who's there?"
Atish....
"Atish-who?"
Bless you, your Lordship, now can I have my school uniform back, please?

*looks hert*
You never dress up for me

* Any casual passers by just might be able to hear the following exchange... *

M.K - Well, my dear have you seen the movie Stripes ???

* no response... *

Well, it goes a little something like this... *

* There's a bang on the sideboard of a metalic object that might just be the ice-cream scooper... *

F.C - Whoa !!!

* cries a female voice... *

M.K - ...and of course this is generally pleasing !!!

* There is a squirt from a compressed can... *

F.C - OOHHH !!!!

M.K - Would you like chocolate sauce smeared on that !!!

F.C - Yes ! Yes ! Don't Stop !!! Don't Stop !!! More ! More !

M.K - Hey ! Leave my nuts alone !

F.C - ...but, I thought we were suppossed to share everything !!!

* The less delicate have probably left by now... Well, all except possibly G.B *

Lord M.K*

*wonders where he got that tape from*

alright you... they've gone now... hows about a welcome back hug?

I'm still here!
And Bob - I'll see you tonight

hmmm....


GB... KISS OFF!!!! leave his lordship and I alone to enjoy the few hours we have together before I must leave again...


(how was that? )

Carnt waght but shouldent we leave them to it.

OK, no sooner said......
GB & Bob run off holding hands, heading for the Bar.....

* Overheard from the other side of door... *

M.K - Oh ! Now that was clumsy F.C !!!

You had better take off that top... so later I can put it in the tub to soak...

Chocolate sauce just doesn't come out !!!

BTW Should we bounce around on the bed again ???

Lord M.K*

ta GB...


present time I feel... *opens her bag... pink fluffy handcuffs fall out*

well, they were on the island... thought you might find a use for them...

So THAT'S what happened to them!!!

* M.K finishes the last of the ice-cream with his dairy queen... *

Lord M.K*

thought you might like them... especially after the way GB put them on...

*goes and sits back on the bed, looking deeply into his eyes*


*hugs him tightly*

* He kisses her with the kind of force that there should be a blue screen behind showing a yacht out to sea in raging waters... *

I always knew you would be my 'purrfect' companion...

Lord M.K*

oh Matt....

*settles down for a very satisfying night.... *



*they compare birthmarks , and lie contentedly in each others arms for some time*

* In an attempt to snatch moment against the flow of time they retire to sort out who exactly has the most hideous birthmark (F.C)...

* ...and wonder why the process of convincing F.C's parents has to take her away for the next two weeks. *

* M.K looks up & down the corridor and places a sign on the doorhandle which reads 'definitely do not disturb !!! ...this includes you G.B !!!' on it... *

* He shuts the door and bolts it shut... *

Oh My God !!! It's hideous !!!

M.K*

*The colours in the photograph are restored to their full hue and beauty, though a birthmark seems to have been airbrushed out. The frame shines in golden splendour, as if a rectangular halo. The glass shines, awaiting future fond fingerprints.*

* M.K tries to finally get up... *

* ...but its awfully difficult when your chaffed 'all over' & tied up... *

Lord M.K*