h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*orders the handmaiden to pass around the fabulous chocolates
*offers one herself to Sir Gordon Linux
May one say, nice OS?

I like to think I'm very stable and uncrashable, I hope you support plug 'n' play?
*Accepts Chocolate*
Thank you, this is very good.

*Sir percy mops his brow and guides the Queen off the dance floor

Would your majesty care for a drink? What would suit you? Something regal, aloof, and exquisite - a PGGB perhaps or a pierced nipple?

*pulls the belly dancer/slave girl's chain, hand over hand until she is withing reach, and takes her into my arms*

Would you care to dance?

*clips the end of the chain to my key-clip... she makes me do a twirl until Im tangled up in the chain and pressed right against her*

hmmm.... I guess it will have to me more more of a wiggle than a dance now, but who's complaining... wow

*There is a noise at the entrance to the ballroom*
*A woman, attended by a young man in a dark suit, steps through the doors, her heels tapping gently on the floor*
*Clothed in a scarlet dress, slit to her thigh and with a plunging neckline, she instantly commands the attention of the room*
*Her long dark hair bounces gently as she makes her way towards the assembly, and the guests feel a sudden and unshakable sensation of familiarity, in spite of the small black mask that covers her face*
*She takes a glass of champagne in one hand and allows a smile to softly flicker at the corners of her mouth*
Good evening everyone. I must say, this is a charming place. Although, I wonder why no-one is dancing? This is, unless I am mistaken, a ball...
*glances at Sir Gordon for a split second, and then turns her attention to the Queen*

I think we might need a set off bolt cutters at some point... no rush...

*Gordon's eyes become fixed on Lady Theresa*
*In mid sentence his mouths seems to fail*
*Embaraased he wanders, slightly dazed, and soon becomes best friends with a large drink*
*He is still unable to break his stare*
*Horrified, he can only watch as other, more forward, gents approach the heavenly being*

Lady Theresa! How charming! At last, a woman of breeding! You may be presented, then please join us for a dance!

Oohh. Mr. Loverman waht do you need the bolt cutters for.

Your Highness, it is a thrill (*another glance towards Sir Gordon*), and a pleasure to meet you.
I should love to join you for a dance.
*lowers her voice*
Perhaps then you could tell me who that gentleman in the corner is. The one who seems to be getting rather well acquainted with his drink...

Well sink me if I don't say that bolt cutters do have ther uses - or so I've heard. A friend of mine apparently extricated himself from a wardrobe that way recently - allegedly.

Pretty, I seem to be chained to Miss Veil of Tears here, but I said there was no rush on the bolt cutters.. they can wait... hmmmm

hey, look a little bif of the chain is still left...

*points to a loop of chain hangind down*

Care to join us? Literally? lol

*A problem has occured, Gordon's drink is running dangerously low*
*In order to reach the bar he must travel very close to Lady Thereasa*
*Gordon gets half way, suddenly there is a worrying moment before he reaches her when his legs decide to retreat before the rest of his body*
*He stumbles onwards to find himself right in front of the good Lady*
*His mind blanks and he is left blushing*

speaking of guys and their drinks... now that I'm chained up nice and tight, I cant reach my drink now.... argh....

Its down between my legs, in my hand... I cant reach it with my mouth no matter how I try... and boy have I tried quiet a few times...

Can one of you ladies help me out please? {huge grin}

Sir Gordon? He is most pleasing, and a gentleman. Do have a chocolate, my dear. One's husband sent them, to make up in a small way, for his absence. The Queen is not sorry though, there are plenty of diverting
*glances around the elaborate room
young men to, divert oneself of the pain of being deprived of the company of one's husband...a drink, my dear?
Sir Gordon! You presence, please. We require drinks, momentarily...
*nudges Lady Theresa

- Sir Douglas seems to be in a trance -

- If the message ever reaches its destination... -

Handmaiden! Help out Mr. Loverman please! One cannot bear to see a young man go without....

*At this the power of speech returns momently*
At once your graciousness. What would you and the young...attractive....energetic...err lady like to tickle your tongue..err...tastebuds.

- As I was about to say... -

....

*Lady Theresa accepts a chocolate absentmindedly*
*She's trying not to look at Sir Douglas, but it's becoming increasingly difficult*
*Particularly since she's finished her champagne and has found herself in desperate need of a PGGB*
*Shaking herself she resolves just to go over to the bar*
Would you care for a drink, Your Majesty?
*The Queen answers in the affirmative, and Theresa walks slowly to the bar*
*As she passes Sir Gordon she feels electrified by the atmosphere between them, and finally she cannot help but meet his eyes*
*Drinks, monarch and awkwardness forgotten she smiles up at him*
Hello. I don't believe we've been introduced