h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This sport consists of trying to high jump a large hedge with spikes. An unsuccessful jump results in the participant lying on top of the hedge laughing only to wake up the next morning with cuts and spikes still in their body. A successful attempt results in the participant lying in a heap in someone elses garden possibly with bruises and broken limbs.
Regular hedge athletes choose hedges that are likely to support their weight should the attemp fail to avoid falling through the hedge.

Why I choose to involve myself in this sport when p**sed I don't know but I have a nice collection of scars as momentos.

Well, I have always felt that waking up after being drunk, and not finding any fresh scars or bruises means the night must have been booring. Jaggy Hedge Jumping seems like a nice way to entertain oneself when drunk.

JAR

The stradle technique is generally the prefered method. On no occassion should the Fosbery be attempted. Also the run throught the jaggy hedge is a novel twist but must be attempted with some sort of fast food held aloft in your right hand.

The Fosbery technique is unknown to me. Perhaps you could enlighten me, so I do not attempt it during experimentation. I belive I shall do some research into the matter tonight or tomorrow night. The run seems awfully interesting... My close friend owns a fastfood stall very near my favourite pub, so it will be easy to aquire the accessory.

I will give a report as soon as I recover. Monday I guess.

JAR

Modern hedge jumping technique is based on high jumping technique. Therefore without the aide of any soft landing material, with the exception of some grass, it would be foolish to attempt a backwards, head first dive over a hedge. The two recommended techniques are the scissors jump and the stradle jump.
The scissors jump is the simplest and involves leading with the leg closest to the hedge kicking the training leg up behind. As most first attempts result in a failure the scissors technique is highly recommended and the participant lands on their back on the hedge.
The second technique is more advanced and involves leading with the furthest leg from the edge and rolling over in the air above the hedge. This allows the participant to sucessfully jump wider hedges but there is increased risk of a potentialy nasty "face downer" on the jaggy stuff.
The run involves finding a hedge thin enough and sparce enough to force your way through at a high velocity. An alternative to the run involves helping one of your drunken associates to acheive a sucessful attempt commonly known as a "shove".

NB. These messages are intended to highlight stupid things I have done whilst in a p**sed up state. On no account do I accept any responsibility for any injury caused to yourself or others, or to any hedges, as a result of acting apon, or trying to emulate, what you have read in these messages.

Friday nights field research was a complete disaster. I was forced to counsel a slightly suicidal codrinker. I forgot most of my fastfood at the fastfood stall, and what of it I had eaten was sacrificed to the Gods That Live on the Pavement. No hedges were jumped.

Next attempt will not include Silver Bullets.

JAR

PS! The researcher responsible for writing this message takes full responsebility for any and all damages (incuding the next days hangover) that might incur during Jaggy Hedge Jumping.

PPS! I appreciate your concern.

I passed the hedge where it all started on friday night. I thought about going over the hedge once more just for old times sake. Then I remembered I was driving and I wasn't in the General Lee. Hmmm.