h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I wasn't sure if you were feeling too to ...

I'm never too to ...
And I consider this one as good writing:http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A596711
Will you take a look?
And I have co-written an entry about hugs (just search for it under hugs, the 2 you'll find are the same) with Ekki. You should be proud of yourself, oh worshipped master...

I've already seen the one on hugs you daft thing! It seems to me, if you're going to be writing a fortnightly column in the Post, that my task of getting you to write one guide entry a month is going to be pretty easy... It's pretty good, a bit rough, a little bit unfocussed, but that, I suspect, comes from writing about yourself, often not an easy thing to do... my website's been up for over three months and I *still* haven't done the "Who am I?" section... Good to see you've got a way to keep motivated with your writing though...

Yes, it is kinda hard to write about yourself, though I self-analyze all the time, you daft!
And yes, it's going to be easy for you now, I guess.. Oh, well, nobody said it's going to be hard...
I like it that I write rough, I don't feel any burning urge to flatter my readers too much, and all 6 of them seemed to like it, so I guess I don't have to. But I'd love it if you'll do the same as you did with my horrible lyrics, and just tell me what you thought of it.
Will you?

Oh, I self-analyse all the time too, but expecting people to sit there and read it all the time is a bit much, the hard bit is trying to seperate the genuinely interesting bits from the (in my case) tons and tons of drivel... You had 6 readers? Does that include me? I think, other than what I've already said, it's hard for me to really comment too much without either i) Looking at a few and giving an overall look, or ii) Knowing what exactly it is you're trying to acheive by writing this column, who is it that you are speaking to, your friends on site, other people on site, people who just randomly come across it, what? That way, if I know what you're doing this for, who you're aiming at, I can have a better idea what sort of things to tell you about...like with Jenny, the audience is self-evident, but with something like this it isn't...

And what's this about 'horrible' lyrics?

I'm mainly writing for myself, but I want others to know me and my country, 'coz I hate the way people interpret things they know nothing about. So I guess it's mainly to my friends, but also people who want to know about me, without actually talking to me. That makes sense, I know...
My readers include Mike, PF, broelan, Shea, you, UH and Shazz. That's enough for me.
And the lyrics WERE, indeed, horrible. I'm much better with plain proze, I guess...

Hmm...well, that being the case, as I somehow thought it might be (), I pretty much read it with that assumption in the first place, and I don't really think there's too much to add beyond that...you might like to broaden your skope a little, you in some ways assumed the reader knew things that they wouldn't necessarily know. Not major things, I don't think, but just skipping over bits that are obvious to people who already now you (at least, a bit) that might not be obvious to the general reader...I don't have any specific examples to hand at the minute, sorry...

Oh, and I was about to ask for specific examples...

Oh, the guilt trip gets applied... Hang on, I'll have a look...

Oh, goody!!!

And...?

I must ask you this, I promised Mike I will, too:
Is it good to be the King?

I'm doing it, I'm doing it... I'm trying to concentrate on general writing things, not editing things as that's presumably already been done by Shazz...

Is it good to be the King? Well, yeah, mainly because if someone does something I don't like in my Kingdom I get to yell at them...

Okay, point by point...

A little lack of cohesiveness, it reads as though you didn't go back through it, it lacks a little in flow. I think that's largely because the paragraphs are a little too formally setup for the conversational tone you've adopted for the majority of the time. The other part of this is, where you're speaking about your family, your tone changes to a more declarative style - shorter sentences, less interaction with the reader. Not a bad thing necessarily, but maybe the paragraph structure could reflect this, where you're talking aout solid facts (such as your personal history) adopt this flatter tone, and formalise the paragraphs to reflect this. In other parts, feel free to ramble on a bit more... though partly this is up to the editors, of course. The point is, even where you vary style throughout, you should similarly vary the format, or else leave the format in a more casual style throughout.

The point with assuming knowledge... I think it more has to do with the way you've approached it. For a first column, it seemed to be curiously lacking in detail about you. It's hard to demonstrate, but most of what you've written is about things around you, not yourself. Good, and necessary information, but it doesn't really tell anyone anything about you. I don't know if you've seen the Random Writings section on my website, but it probably tells people more about who I am than putting history up in the 'who am I" section would, if you see what I mean, because the way I describe things and react to situations tells people more about me that telling them about my family, though that also is necessary.

Okay, I think that's enough for the moment...

You and my former psychologist see eye to eye, then..
She complained that I go on and on about anything, but myself.
I didn't want to get carried away about my family, 'coz I don't see it as relevant to my present life. My dad lives away, and my mum's just distant, mentally, and I usually do what I like. I do find it important to tell abit of them, coz they'll get mentioned in most of my columns.
But that's it.
I wasn't really conversing to the reader, ha? I know I can get tired in the middle and forget about being consistant. It's a problem I should work on. Shazz, I must say, mainly checked my grammar. She touched nothing.
And god, did I go through it! I was so scared about posting it... But I liked it, and that's why I did. Probably 'coz it is abit distant.
And I wrote a 1000 words on the same subject and you want more?? I thought it should be less... I'm really into the telegraphic writing, I know, I've been told that a million times. I just feel like I'm babbling and cut it off.

Anything else?

I knew you would have gone through it, it's just the variations in style make it read (to me) as though you didn't But, like I said the first time, most of these sort of things will come just from writing a few columns and finding a 'voice' with which you're comfortable. Well, maybe a little less about you and Mike... I think there, particularly, you assumed everyone reading knew pretty much everything that's happened...which is probably fair enough, really...

Well, itIS all over the damn site, ain't it?!
I know I didn't bother explaining much, but I also didn't see any reason to explain much- we are a couple and he's moving here. If you knew nothing of our past here- would you think of wondering about it? I wouldn't. And you do know, and we're totally open about it, so what's the point?
One concepot I did think of trying, is deviding each column into past, present and future, in respect of family (past), country(present), and love (future). What do you think? I think it'll be more focused this way.

I think I would wonder, but maybe that's just me... That was my point though with the stuff about Mike, if this is a newspaper column meant more for people who know you than otherwise, most of them will know the 'facts' about you two. This advice is meant more for future articles than this one, but maybe you could talk more about how certain things make you feel, how that relates to things you've been through in your life, that sort of thing, and maybe a little less specific to you and Mike. Just a suggestion, not of necessity a good one... I don't really like the idea of something that structured, which is partially just a personal thing, and partially because it kind of locks you down into writing something about each of them, and maybe even a roughly equal amount about each of them, every fortnight, which I don't think is a good idea. It would, however, likely make it more focussed and concised, so it's really just a matter of personal preference.

Well, sorry it took me ages to reply...
I really can't spare much time to writing anymore- I've got a new job, which takes 9 hours of every day, and Mike, which takes most of the rest, and a course, that takes the last bits of my time, that aren't dedicated to sleeping or eating...
I agree- it's a hard structure- putting the entry into past, present and future, and though I am a person that needs structure, I think my writing should flow more easily. So I'll take your advice, and not bound myself. As for what's happening around me, and the way it effects my life and relates to my past- I'm not sure it's interesting. But again- I'll take your advice and try writing about it, though it might get me into discussions I don't care much for...

Mike's just written an entry, a good entry, about Mike Oldfield- did you read it? I did, and I'm impressed. Of course, I didn't save my comments from him, but he appreciates them.
We're having a great time together. Gosho says it's our Honeymoon Period- I hope he's wrong, though I know things don't tend to stay THAT good for too long- routine and all... Oh well, I enjoy it while I have it.

TTYL
Elly

YOu may be in the honeymoon period, but there's no saying that things will get worse when that finishes... I haven't read his article yet, though I read the whole Peer Review thread, but I had to go before I had a chance to read it, and next time I came on I forgot about it... I don't have any time no either, it's almost 01.30 and I have to go to bed, w**king 12 hours tomorrow...discussions you don't care much for...without knowing *exactly* wat it is you're worrying about, I wouldn't think that you should have too much of a concern...you might be asked uncomfortable questions, but it's entirely up to you how public you make your life... you have the right to not answer anything you don't want too, or not write about things you'd rather keep private. But anyway, I must away to bed, keep yourself in as much mischief as possible... G'night

Hey, Kingy!
Ages, again, I know... Got too tied up in w**k, and then lost it. Now starting another. Life's never dull.
I don't know what you've missed on, I know you and Mike keep in touch, on my side of the picture things are good. Hard, sometimes, but good. He's sleeping now, so I'm bored and have time for h2g2. I hope you're still online to read all that...
How are you, anyway?

Weeeel, I'm still online *now*, anyway... You got another job? Good to hear Though it'd be kinda funny if now *you* spent your days bumming around on the beach whilst he was at w**k How am I? Well, it's been... interesting to say the least Go to the Random writing section on my website, that'll tell you more than you ever needed to know