h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Dragons (Update) - a work in progress - A4154546
Author: Frood - U168592

This is an Update of the Original Edited Guide Entry Dragons A152317

Conversations about the Entry were taken into consideration (as much as possible).

Suggestions etc. please
Frood (All ed out!>

Nice job, Frood.

But Shrek ain't Disney (shudder). It's DreamWorks.

Pin

oo! true! for picking that up. *slaps wrist*

Just for interest (there's really no need to put this in), you might like to know that Fafnir was Regin's brother, and really a dwarf himself, only he turned into a dragon on account of greed and a slight outburst of patricide. Sigurd was Regin's adopted son, and he too killed his (quasi)Dad shortly after killing Fafnir, presumably to ensure that the saga had a pleasing symmetry.

Did I say 'for interest'? I really meant 'to show off'

Pin

Great work! I've got no time for seriuous nitpicking right now, but perhaps later. Thumbs up!

I've done a little more editing and such and I think it's complete now. Nitpickers sally forth!

What about snap dragons? I like snap dragons

Here goes with the nitpicking.

Content:

You might think about putting in more links. I spotted sun, moon. I'm sure there are entries for these.

Guivre (gyv-warr) -- shouldn't that be gyv-ruh ?

am-fiz-bay-na --> am-fiz-bee-na (ae is pronounced ee as in Encyclopaedia, anaemia etc.)

Amphithere -- you say it is from South America, then you say it is from Mexico. Mexico is very definitely in North America. Or am I missing something? And is it the Amphithere or the Quetzalcoatl you are describing?

his opera Der Ring des Nibelungen --> his cycle of operas Der Ring des Nibelungen

the Ring Saga --> the Ring Cycle

from an evil prince --> from an evil lord

Formatting:

The bulleted lists look strange in my browser. The bullet points are on a separate line from the titles. This is because you put and around the subheaders. Remove these.

Remove the quotation marks from Marco Polo's quotation since it is in italics.

J.R.R Tolkien --> JRR Tolkien


Choice of words:

Descriptions of the animal are different from many witnesses; -- this doesn't sound right. Can you say it a different way?

knights would seek fame and fortune on killing the creature --> knights would seek fame and fortune by attempting to kill the creature

the Asian sub-continent -- do you mean the Indian sub-continent?

Even its body has 117 scales --> Its body has 117 scales

carniverous (eating insects) -- this should technically be insectivorous, but if you don't want to change it, it is spelled carnivorous

Quick to temper and rush in -- rephrase this.

however the invention of the shotgun --> but the invention of the shotgun

Wind Drakes, however these creatures --> Wind Drakes, but these creatures

evolutionary speaking --> this should be 'evolutionarily speaking' but that is such a mouthful that it would be better to say 'in evolutionary terms'.

Almost quite probably mistaken for eels -- I don't know what you mean by almost quite probably

so headed out to sea --> and so headed out to sea

of the now Mississippi River. -- I think this would be better without the "now".

many dragons simply fly unaided, magic a strong influence -- I really don't know what you mean by this. Do you mean that they are aided by magic or that they are not aided by magic?

Smaug was a dragon who guarded Dwarven riches in Lonely Mountain, where a hobbit named Bilbo Baggins, a wizard known as Gandalf and a troop of thirteen Dwarves were destined to find. -- This is very badly phrased. It should be 'the Lonely Mountain'. And what were these people destined to find?



Punctuation and capitalisation:

including control over the elements2, telekinesis, telepathy, shape-shifting, chameleon qualities; dependant on wants and needs, for example camouflage or mating rituals, and invisibility -- the semicolon in the middle of this looks wrong to me. You should make it into a comma. You might consider making most of the other commas into semicolons.

the dragons den --> the dragon's den

lions mane --> lion's mane (two places)

the middle ages --> the Middle Ages

Eastern dragons' feet --> Eastern dragon's feet

the dragons temper --> the dragon's temper

a sting it is still winged --> a sting, it is still winged

to the Western Dragon, however it is flightless --> to the Western Dragon; however, it is flightless

For the most Drakes --> For the most, Drakes

Sailors tales --> Sailors' tales

sailors stories --> sailors' stories

mediterranean --> Mediterranean

What makes a dragon, a dragon? --> What makes a dragon a dragon?

the dragons chest --> the dragon's chest

The dragons life blood --> The dragon's life blood

the dragons wings --> the dragon's wings

a knights greatest dream --> a knight's greatest dream

one of Heracles famed --> one of Heracles' famed -- or -- one of Heracles's famed

the knights' father --> the knight's father

Dwarven --> dwarven

Dwarves --> dwarves

Dr. Ernest --> Dr Ernest


Typos, missing words, grammar etc:

.Size -- insert space before Size

Typically has thick scaly skin --> It typically has thick scaly skin

long necks, and a wedge-shaped head --> a long neck, and a wedge-shaped head

belly of a clam --> the belly of a clam

radiator grills --> radiator grilles (I think)

weilds --> wields

feeding off of livestock --> feeding off livestock

that attacked their ships and eating their friends --> that attacked their ships and ate their friends

common place --> commonplace

Indiginous --> Indigenous

but have two small front legs --> but has two small front legs

kwet-zah-coat-al --> kwet-zahl-co-attle

bouyancy --> buoyancy

Dragons are able to create fire --> A dragon is able to create fire

the dieing beast --> the dying beast

There are may theories --> There are many theories

keeps the possibility open --> keep the possibility open

may have been mistaken as dinosaurs --> may have been mistaken for dinosaurs

to subside purely on coconuts --> to subsist purely on coconuts

salad cream all a possibility --> salad cream are all a possibility

crikey! though, I knew there was much to be done
I'll get cracking on it as soon as I can, will post to the thread when all the work is done. See you next year some time...
*trudges off with his quill and parchment*

Right !! Done!

Speaking of Nordic mythology, isn't there a huge serpenty-snakish thing that encircles the entire world and makes up its mountainbacks?

Nicely done article, this is the kind of update I would like to see more of!

I think I've done just about as much as I can now

Should I make some reference to Dragon Toys? There's loads about at the moment. Perhpas even chess sets and the like, such as the figures from Wargames and all the rest? Or again, is it getting too much?

I think it's pretty much there. The only point I'd raise is to remove the link in the header for Dungeons & Dragons and instead put the link in the paragraph below.

Once that's done, I'd be happy to accept this as the update.

Hokay, will do.

Right. Done (with new fangled Credit tags too! Yay!)
MJ

Since this still uses some of the original entry, even if it is only a few sentences, I think JediSlider should be joint author, rather than just listed in the Additional Credits section.

What do you think, Jimster?

Well, that's why JS is credited with "Original Entry by"...

They wrote the Original Entry, I've updated and rewritten.

I can't understand the problem???

But I'm happy either way.

MJ

either way...finito

I'd still like a reply to that question from Jimster, as it should be a h2g2 policy, not just my opinion or your opinion.