Campaign Statement 8: The Big C and Njan
Created | Updated Jun 21, 2003
Beep, beep. Locating appropriate holographic emitter. Located. Configuring. Done. Transmitting data...
A holographic projector on the floor, which incidentally no one had as yet noticed, springs to life, and the image of Pr. C. Tonks appears floating above it.
Erm, is this thing on... Computer? Watch, are you recording? Good...right...
Ah, hello there friends, comrades! To those of you who for some reason haven't heard of me before, allow me to introduce myself. I am Pr. C. Tonks, GalaGroup Overseer to the Multi-Galactic Governmental House of San Beta... known commonly as The Big C on h2g2. I reside on my Space Station, and host forums where people can discuss science, and perform dangerous experiments in controlled environments...
As soon as I said I'd be running in these elections, someone told me I had to write some sort of statement to the Community. I've rattling my brain and my Computer to come up with something to say, and I think I've come up with it at last. Well, these are the goals of my Vice Njan, and I, Pr. C. Tonks. Read on:
My aims as future President of h2g2:
My main aims are for sorting out some niggling little faults in the Community system. For a start, I would put in place a map of the h2g2 town, Beach, space, and wherever else in VR an attraction is to be found.
I will set up teams to find new attractions and add them to the list.
I will ensure that each Community Page gets its very own ID number, making it separate from standard Entries (with A numbers) and User Pages (with U numbers). I will set up a new system whereby each page is assigned a number after a different letter. C is already taken for the Guide navigation system, so we might use H. All present Community Pages would be automatically moved over to this new system (all links automatically changed as well!), and anyone wanting to create a new page would have a section on their User Page to 'create a new Community Page'.
It is necessary for the problem of redundant User Pages to be sorted out immediately. So many people sign up for h2g2, only to be scared away again by the huge Community. My aim here is to integrate the work done by the ACE's and the Angels and other friendly h2g2-ers with the new Community mapping system. They would welcome the Newbies to h2g2, and guide them to the Main Community Page, where the map is to be found. They would instruct the Newbie on how to use it, and then let them get on with it, checking by from time to time to see if they're settled in.
With h2g2 becoming an ever greater power over peoples minds, it will soon by under threat from jealous competitors. With my Space Station in place, and my excellent reflexes, I shall personally ensure that h2g2 is never under threat of invasion or destruction!
The aims my Vice, Njan, told me to put up as well... very reasonable:
More rights for fish.
Designated fish-only, and fish-compatible areas, with adequate amounts of water and oxygen.
Also, increased awareness of problems specific to fish, and issues that affect them.
Increased communication between the people of h2g2 and the people in charge.
Notification of changes being implemented, future plans.
Input by the people as to changes that would like to be seen.
There, that's that done then. I think you'll agree with me and Njan that these are very plausible causes to fight for! If we are elected, we promise to do all these!
Yes, erm, please take note that when I say 'promise', me being a man of my word, I mean it. No pie crusts given! When I say something, I mean it! Anyone who knows me, knows that!
Check out our Campaign Page for more details on our aims, and check out our pictures at the Rogues Gallery if you want a real laugh!
OK... that's all I can say now. Just one final note though before I go...
[Data transfer efficiency at 15%. Communication quality diminishing.]
You know, like... [Efficiency at 11%.]
... vote f... [Efficiency at 8%.]... or m...
[Communication lost. Disconnecting. Have a nice day. Beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......]
