h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay, I'm not starting but I do have a couple of stories to tell. As long as someone else starts.

Quite recently I got my boobs out in the middle of London, twice. We (3 male friends and I) had been walking around Camden and retired to The Angel (Tottenham Court Road area I believe) and I got kind of legless through the afternoon. I got quite upset that none of them had asked to see my pierced nipple since it was done, and then just flashed it in the middle of the beer garden.
I remember doing that bit. What I don't remember doing was flashing them both in the tube station a short while later when someone pointed out that my bandeau top was slipping down. Apparently I just pulled the top right down for the delight of the other passengers.
Oh bugger was my remark when I got told later.

I was once violently sick in the main shopping street in Warrington.

It was half 10 but it was just outside a pub

Hi, I just wanted to pop in and check out the new thread. I'm sure I'll have plenty to add after I get back from my B-day weekend.
See y'all Tuesday.

It was the year before last, during cricket week (a week packed full of cricket, which I didn't watch, and beer, which I did drink), the last friday to be exact.

I had got to the club house at about midday and warmed up with a couple of beers and 1 or 2 vodkas. Everyone else drank at about the same rate but those of us at the bar did ourselves proud. Huge quanitiies of all types of intoxicating liquor (sp?) were drunk, although the home made Margaritas (white tequila, cuentreau and lime cordial) were by far the most disgusting. By about 8 in the evening most people were worse for ware, a couple were dead to the world. By 10 most had gone home. This gave the rest of us (a loyal core or 30 boys and girls) the chance to serve ourselves booze and skin up (and do whatever people do).

At middnight, after 12 hours of solid drinking. I looked for my bike. I had taken up cycling in an effort to get fit. I found it! After 10 minutes of struggling with the lock it was finally freed. Unfortunately there was no way I could ride. I was far too drunk.

I went back inside and quaffed a couple more pints over the period of about half an hour, toked on a joint, danced (badly) and talked AT my friends and assorted strangers. Then again, I decided that I *had* to go home. I walked outside and tried to find my bike. I searched but couldn't find it anywhere. I could hardly see never mind walk so it wasn't a supprise.

Yet again I returned to the bar, where the booze was still flowing (for free) and not quite everyone was unconcious.

It was now about 2:30am and I knew it was time to go or be trapped there in a drunken stupor for all of my twilight zone life (as it seemed then).

I went outside and found my bike, by the door. How could I have missed it before? Got on and successfully cycled for about 10 yards before crashing into the cricket pitch. Sure that this was only a temporary problem I re-mounted the bike and cycled out of the club, down the road, round the cormer and into the tarmac. Ouch!

This time (my trousers now ripped) I knew that I'd be able to stay on without any problems, the last two crashes had just been due to a lack of concentration. I'd be fine.

I got back on the bike, started to cycle along the road and only wobbled slightly. Now, here is where things go blank...

The next thing I know, I'm picking myself up off the floor and trying to get my leg untangled from the bike. Things go blank again...

I wake up in bed, partly clothed but in one piece. Or so I thought until I tried to move. A screaming pain ran down the right side of my neck. I managed to drag my crumpled body to the bathroom where I really got a shock. My left eye was black, my left cheek was swollen, bruised and grazed, my left shoulder was agony and badly grazed and I'd chipped 2 of my front teeth.

I looked down at my hands, worried about what kind of state they were in. What?... They were fine. Not a mark, not a bruise, not a scratch. Whatever had happned, I hadn't tried to protect myself.

I called a couple of friends, most of whome were incoherent, and managed to find out that they had tried to stop me cycling but I wouldn't listen and they just let me leave. I couldn't believe it, why didn't they try to keep my from harm?

No-one was sober enough to drive and I needed to get to a hospital. The pain had rally set in and I was worried that I'd seriously damaged my neck. From what I could make out from my injuries and had obviously hit a curb, flown over the handlebars and landed on my face without trying to stop myself with my hands.

A friends sister gave me a lift there, still smelling of drink and, to be honest, still drunk. I had made a temporary neck brace with a large rolled up towel and looked rediculous.

The X-rays showed that nothing was fractured. Relief. They gave me a load of painkillers and told me that I'd be fine. Well, as fine as I'd been before. Which was obviously stupid.

For the next 3 weeks I looked like someone who'd gone 9 rounds with Mike Tyson.

The worst part though, was the sudden change in peoples attitudes when they heard my sorry tale. Whan I started by telling them the injuries were the result of a bike crash. I got lots of sympathy. As I explained that it was a push bike and not a motorbike, as they'd assumed, the sympathy drained away and they just laughed. I've never felty such a t**t as I did for those 3 weeks. Having to wear a neck brace and explain to everyone who asked that the state of my face and body was entirely self inflicted because of my own gross stupidily.

Next time I might tell you about the food fight in the very expensive chinese resturant, even the waiter joined in!

RROTFLMFAO! Beats my tits out problem!

Tell us about the food fight, and I might tell you about the time I announced very loudly to everybody in the pub that fiddling with my navel piercing got me off so much it was like having another cl*t and I couldn't wait to see what it would be like to have my tit done. I ended up that evening searching my mates jacket for condoms (don't remember that bit) for some odd reason. I definitely have no intention of sleeping with him, ever.

Well, I've pretty much told you everything about it now.

I dont embarrice myself when drunk (I have to much sence) I make other people embarise themselves insted (useualy Bob) One time when we where canoeing off Anglesy well actually we had finished for the day and where drinking on top of one of the cliffs I asked Bob how cold the water was. His anser obvasly was that he did not know so I said why dont you jump in and find out. He took his top off and jumped off the cliff down the 8 foot drop in to the water which must of been about minus 2 because whn he gout out on the beach his lips where blue.
I have some great photos of that one

I'm always the one being calm and trying to stop other people, notably my brother and our freind, from embarassing themselves while drunk.