h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*So while nobody's fixing the slit in the silk shirt, and we're all admiring the view, nobody's fixing the slit in the silk skirt either. OK?

*But somebody's gotta fix the damn keyboard.

I don't suppose you've got a cigarette, have you Peaceful?
Oh, you don't - no of course you don't.
Neither do I, actually.

..................

You know, we really ought to spare a thought for the others. I hope everyone's alright.
Ow! No, my nose if fine now> I had entirely forgotten about it.
You've already kissed it better ... more than adequately.

*Tries to recall Gal. Babe's observation about about satiable women and incapable men ... or was it the other way about*

*And no smart remarks about "the other way about" either. There is a lady present, if you don't mind.

*As the couple sit, gawping at each other in silence, Kes thinks of the things that Peaceful said - back in the cave. So she is rich - from a rich family, and she clearly wants the prize .. the stamps ... everything. Why? Why are some people able to accept life and love, while others must direct everything to their own ends?*

*A scramble from the cave, and a sympathetic crab sidles up. (Crab has short legs - it was a long climb. That's why it took a couple of hours). Crab tries to express the situation so that both Kes and Peaceful will understand, and will understand each other .... and can, if they desire, seek to bridge the unbridgeable gap. He dances:

What did you bring here?

I brought my luggage, all my clothes,
So I can dress for each occasion.
I also brought my bag of wealth,
My credit card, my rank, my station.
My hands were full.
What did you bring?

Only what you see.
My hands are empty.
What do you seek here?

I have a brief; I have a plan.
I seek what I am told to find.
I seek another bag of wealth,
And add the totals in my mind.
I seek security.
What do you seek?

Only what is freely offered.
I seek ... love.
What do you offer?

Bargains, deals and promises,
With ten percent in it for me.
A house? A car? A holiday?
I offer everything you see.
It has its price ...
What can you offer?

Only what you see.
I have no price.
What will you take from here?

I'll leave my clothes - for charity.
The luggage I will pack with gains,
And twice as many bags of wealth.
I'll take them home; I'll have no pains.
My arms will be full.
What will you take?

Only what is freely given.
My arms are empty,
Free - to carry my lover,
If my lover wishes to come.

Where will you go?

I will go wherever love bids me.
Where will you go from here?


*Peaceful seems, at first, angered by Crab's dance - some of it she understands immediately. Then, as she considers it further, she retreats into her own thoughts, leans on Kes, and closes her eyes. Kes nods at Crab - more in politeness than understanding.*

*Kes is exhausted. Though he senses help is approaching, he can keep his eyes open no longer.
Just 30 minutes' nap (approx.) - no more, then he'll be back and ready to face a new day.
He relaxes, sliding into a very comfortable arrangement. What a pair!
I mean PE and Kes!

* M.K wanders in to see the sleeping couple... *

* He then sees his secret polysterene trees have been tampered with, he mutters under his breath... *

Just when I go to all the trouble of using these secret passages to get to the more distant places on the island, someone comes along and destroys them ...

Still, they weren't too scary, especially the one resembling Mark Moxon...

* M.K enters the broken tree & disappears up to the other end, which appears near the entrance to the cave in the Forest... *

*Kes wakes, and very reluctantly moves his head from whence it had slipped. *

Hello! Help! Somebody?

Never a Marshall when you need one - i expect three of them will arrive in a bit.
I really need some help. Peaceful is exhausted, and I'm too k*******d to carry her.

Hello? Anyone?

Oh - thanks for your concern, Crab. I'd feed you if I had any food.

Hello?

*flies in right on time...*

hallo Kes... you need a bit of a hand I see... well, anything to keep you and PE toghether....


*lifts PE gently...*

so. where are we off to?

I need ... we need to rest. A bed ... actually - two beds .. at least for a while. Beds? Any of those on the island?
Wherever we're going - don't leave the crab - GB is worried about her and ... look promise not to tell anyone, but sometimes I think the crab's planting pictures in my mind.
Then again. maybe I'm just tired.
You choose - anywhere with beds .... and tea. Tea would be nice.

*sees FC wandering off into the distance with PE in tow...

*whispers: psst. Kes...

*slightly louder: Kes....

*Kes stops, turns around and sees ddgb stood, hidden slightly behind the vines... what cant be missed is the small leather skirt and top she is wearing....

Thinks: I should have come th this thread first!
GB arrives with a Crab in her pocket, which she thought was HER Crab, but on reading the last post, knows now that the Crab in the pocket of her Angel gown, is not the poetic Crab who stole her heart before.
That Crab is already here, at the Tribal Council....
He has been trying to tell Kes...
*GB reaches down into her pocket.
*Takes the Crab and places it on the ground.
The poetic Crab scurries up and starts to dance at GB's dainty feet, then approaches the other Crab, bows {as it seems to GB}, they link claws and wander off together.
GB watches them, her face expressionless....
No words come to mind, her thoughts unfathomable....
A single tear trickles down from GB's eye and drops onto the ground.
She turns and looks at the sleeping Peaceful and Kes, wrapped in each others arms and a sigh escapes her, from deep within....

OOPS!
Multi-sim-post alert!!!!

*Kes manages (very unconvincingly) to pretend he hasn't seen ddgb. Replacing his eyeballs in their sockets, he turns to FC and GB.*

That crab - really something, eh!
Can you see or hear what he's saying? Or am I going a bit mad?
Please can I come with you and PE?
Quite quickly - oh, and there's somthing I want to ask you ... about ladies ... er, if you don't mind?

Ask away, Kes.
Hiya, FC, didn't see you arrive during the multi-post.
Are you OK?
The Crabs have gone, by the way. If they weren't a mated pair before, they sure are now...{weak smile}....

Well, I don't know which of you to ask, really, I suppose you might both know.
I don't know a lot about this, er, I mean .. before I came here I hadn't, well, never mind ..
Look - I just wondered .... I mean, I shouldn't .. well not both, but my brain sort of turns off,
and is that usual, I mean, is that how it should be, and why do they keep changing their minds and changing their modds, and changing what they say, or mean..
and I'm really confused.
I thought things were really good, then I thought they'd got better, but more isn't always better, is it?
Look - just a simple answer .. that's all?

* M.K groans... *

*sees Kes turn away from her... realises that should never happen

*runs closer to Kes...

oi. come here silly *poses provocatively....*

*Kes's vision swims and fades.*
Take me with you .. please.
*As FC and GB prepare to take PE to a place of safety, Kes faintly hears the sound of approaching footsteps... Footsteps of dainty bare feet, attached to long, long legs, swishing against a mini, mini, skirt.
*Someone supports his weight, and helps him along a path .... but which one? and which path? *

catches Kes as he falls... come on hon.. lets go get you to bed... there's some nice vines I've arranged for just this... It'll keep you comfortable while you rest....

*walks away from the group quietly with Kes, planting a small kiss on his cheek....*