h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think that might just be my metronome...

Ah, that might be it... BTW, Witty, would you mind another adventure? This is one of grave importance, and it concerns Minos Krylma and all of his flunkies. If you would, please head on over to http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F25788?thread=104301 to find out what it's all about. I'd invite everyone else, but I need people with previous missions on their resumes for this space chase, and I've seen you on enough adventure threads to know what you can do. Oh, and if you would, would you send over a delivery of Jack Anthrax's latest story? I think it's called "Tangible Treasure, Intangible Terror." It's the latest segment of the "Zork: The Calm Before The Storm" series. Thanks. ;-)

Will do, Affy. *salutes sharply*

*Witty walks over to the magazines and paperbacks and checks the latest stock.*

Here it is:

Zork: The Calm Before The Storm
Chapter Five: Tangible Treasures, Intangible Terror
By Jack Anthrax
Copyright 2000

I'll send it right over, Affy.

Thanks, Witty. I've been waiting to see this in print for quite some time now.

*E goes off browsing the isles. Finds a packet of hazelnut choclate mint coffee and decides to put it into his trolley...*

TRA lalalalalalaaa!!!

*Affy flips through the story*

Oh, I hope Bilnad survives! This Korfozzle certainly has it in for him!

:: wanders in ::

::sees Happy and runs off to the cleaning supply aisle, knowing he won't ever got there...::

I am here in my official capacity as Space Centre fire chief - its time for the annual fire safety check

By all means, HappyDude. I'm sure you'll find everything in order.

And do have a donut and some coffee while your here, won't you?

Dragonfly? Dragonfly? Where'd you go?

hmmm...where are the firethingeeputteeoutteethings ??

Well, Chief, there's one right here behind the counter. There's another right next to the microwave, because things can get a bit hot over there. There's another one next to the trash compacter back in the stock room.

*points to the ceiling*

There's a sprinkler system in the ceiling and a halon system that only discharges when no oxygen breathing lifeforms are on the premises. And we're running a special this week for halon breathing entities... 2 galactic credits for a 10cc pressurized container to take out.

better see if they work ?

:: pours petrol on floor, lights match, runs very fast ::

*Reaches behind counter and grabs the fire extinguisher. Points it at the little puddle of flame and nips the flame in the bud.*

Criminy! Why didn't somebody tell me he's in charge of setting fires, not putting them out!! I tried to check out the fire station thread, but it's still pending moderation. *shakes fist at moderator*

I think I'll file a complaint with Alien.

:: signs form ::

You passed

I'm just glad that Happy can't surprise *me* with these inspections! Since I'm not located on the Station, I've got fires all the time!

*Brief pause*

Um, no one tell any planetary safety inspectors that CLI is a walking fire hazard. We're still environment friendly! We're just not friendly to ourselves. You can't mind an explosion or two every few hours if you work there, at any rate.

Oh, for heaven's sake!

*Takes certificate from the Chief and hangs it on the wall behind the counter.*

Thank goodness we only have to go through this once a year.

Explosions build character!

*Perks up*

Well, I'll be! Someone other than myself who knows the CLI motto! We *aren't* an unknown, unappreciated company that only serves its purpose by making jokes about classic sci-fi movies! I feel all warm and cheerful inside.

Anyone remember when I accidentally changed everything from my waist down into a spider, went to the Crossed Purposes, and people thought that it was a Halloween costume?

*Looks around*

No one? Hmmm, I'm gonna have to work on my entrances...