h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, then lets sort this out...

*Drops a box of lego...*

*At the sound of the lego bricks hitting the floor, Sort comes careening around the corner. He sits down in front of the bricks and scoops them all into one big pile. Then he starts sorting them, first by size, then by color within each size.

He commences building something. First, walls rise, then windows and doors take shape. Finally, turrets appear. Sort finally stands up, carefully picks up his construction and carries it over the the group of researchers, gently placing it on the counter.*

It's, it's... why it's a castle! Sort, I had no idea you are so artistic. Look, the colors form patterns on the sides of the building!

*Sort makes a slight bow, takes a fresh dust cloth from behind the counter, and heads off on his rounds.*

WELL!!!

Hmmm,....now that is interesting, Witty. This little display in architectural skill has just alerted me to an interesting fact about most of my hand-made AI droids.

*Affys pulls out a holographic imager, and turns it on. A picture of Ampton in Joanna's Donut Stall apears*

Ampton, as we all know, spent a great deal of his time break dancing. At first, we thought it was all just a glitch. But then,....

*Affy pushes a button. The image switches from Ampton to two pictures: Minoova and Minerva, Lil's former and current maidbots, respectively*

These two droids have an interesting knack for the cullinary arts. Sure they were programmed for it, but it still fits the pattern.

*Affy pushes the button again. This time, a picture of a human-shaped glowing green halo of light*

This is Chloe, the secondary maidbot that I made for Lil. This one, during the breaks of her work, enjoys painting pictures.

*Affy pushes another button, showing a Squidlike robot, inside a hotel bar*

This is BarBot. He's currently working at Chrome 101's hotel, in the bar. This one has another knack for the cullinary arts, although he seems to specialize in drink mixing.

*Affy pushes another button, this one showing Sort, building the lego castle*

And now Sort is showing a great amount of skill for architectural development. So far, all of my handmade AI droids have had some sort of artistic feature that they can display. All, that is, with the exception of one....

*Affy pushes a button. A robot not unlike Ampton comes into view, although this one is a dull silver color, taller, has a Jacob's Ladder instead of an antenna, and looks as if it was meant for indiscrimminantly destroying the forces of good*

This is Montressor. A special request 'bot that I made for The Masque Of The Red Rejection Email (he shares the spot as Next In Command for STUMPED with Big Bad Werewolf). Montressor has never, to my knowledge, shown much artistic skill whatsoever.

I must find out if he's got one, and then I'll be able to tell if it's just chance, or an increddibly interesting bug/code in the programming of my droids. But how do I track down The Masque and Montressor without getting killed? Hmmmm....

::sleerrrppp::

Well, you are magical, aren't you!???

Just because I've got magical abilities doesn't mean that I can just snap my fingers, have someone appear in front of me, and then survive the ludicrous amount of damage that they would do within moments.

After all, that *does* technically break the laws of continuity.

Besides, The Masque has been mysteriously missing for a while. Maybe I should start looking for him at his home base: Planet X (http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A461521). There could very well be some clues as to his whereabouts there. It's just gotten unnerving. I've had several missions lately, and neither he, Montressor, nor his blasted ship, The Raven, have appeared during them. The last time he tried to pull something on me was in my missions to Zork. And that was quite some time ago....

::sleerrrppp::

What a pity. I can simply snap my fingers, but I try not to do it too often. I HAD to, today, to restore an orphanage.

You can do that now Dragonfly, but you can't do that once you join the Adventuring Guilds of h2g2. You have to follow certain rules, guidelines, etc. No instantaneous killing of opponents, no one-post solutions to puzzles/problems, no taking control of another character, try to keep the plot twists to a maintainable level, etc.

We may not be living a convenient life, but our storylines stay much more interesting that way. Oh, but just so you know, this also shields us from the "finger snappings" of others on the guide. For instance, you won't be able to summon The Masque if you try it.

OOOoooo....

::slerp!!!::

*E opens the door to the castle*

Why, this is the ideal place for the Blockheads anual brickdrinking festival!

*Goes inside to have a look around (Now, how does E do that?)*

::Spits out her slerpee:; The Blockheads have a WHAT!??

*All you here is the sound of feet on legobricks from inside the castle...*

*Passes a napkin to Dragonfly and notices her halo is brighter than usual.*

Here you go so you can clean up after your very effective spit-take. And congratulations on your promotion!

When my feet land on legos, the only sound you hear is me yelping. Those thinks hurt. E, is the inside as beautiful as the outside?

*A small voice is heard from one of the towers*

Oh, yes, this is absolutley lovely! I think I found a sleeping princess, but that is somewhat wrong, because, there would have had to been a big rosebush covering the castle....

I might have to ask where the kitchen is. I think I am starting to feel hungry...

Thanks, WM!!!

I am most excited and amazed... indeed!!!

That talking castle is really cool!!!

*A small stream of smoke apeart at a building somewhat at the back of the castle. The smell of grilled (goat?? no...) fish is to be perceived...*

...can I buy one of them here!?? Is this just the display model!??

Hmmm, interesting....

Englander, I'm afraid that I have to call off the adventure into CLI's tunnels. I'm sorry, but for reasons that I've already stated at Lil's Atelier, I'm going to be severely cutting down my h2g2 time. Sorry.

*E sending smokesignals from the kitchen*

*EaE has a look at the stream of smoke - translates:*

Why, no problem, I should be doing that, too

Well, I hope the monsters won´t mind...

No, the monsters won't mind. It's their purpose to stay in dark, dank tunnels and wait for people who don't know what they're doing to walk by.