h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[There is a picket sign with Scarecrow Stan's Scrawled onto it in bold, scratchy lettering]
It is just in front of a hut.
There is a smaller sign near the door that says: ["Will accept all froms of currency, including but not limited to galleons, cowry shells, or even barter!"] on it.

[Stan]:
"Now, let's see here..."
*Rummages around to set up a display of firearms next to a case of rum*
"We got yer harquebusses, and yer flintlocks over there,-the matchlocks and musket oer thars, and blunderbusses plus other stuff like that over there."
*Remembers something he forgot*
"Uum, brandy!"
*Sets it next to the rum.*
"No wait, that wasn't it-"

*Scratches his head in puzzlement*

Goodafterbreakfast sir

I'm in the market for an 'M' class robot do you have any

[Stan]: "Why what have we here?"
*Checks large crate*
"If you could makest with assisting me at this using the crowbar part, I can double-check for you..."

*Unrolls a long instructions & assembly sheet*
"Says here that yes there is a robot, but first have to assemble 'im!"

*Pops the lid off the big wooden crate*
"Will this do? What method of payment do you intend?"
*Gets out the bartering stick*

Good job I'm a mechanic then

shame my toolbox is back on the ship

*Scarecrow Stan wonders if that means he will perhaps be paid in miscellaneously assorted nuts and bolts*

"Oh, well- I'm a tiki trader. My name is as the sign says (and it should be considering I wrote it (in crayonb too!)), and it should be Scarecrow Stan."

*Feeds his raven Qwi a dead fried rat (to shut it up)*

[Stan]: "Not to worry then, I think I may have just the thing; it's a traveling toolkit. Same things, only somewhat smaller. All can be yours for the price of whatever two chickens, one monkey and a skull can be worth to you..."

I've got EC's wallet complete with some unsigned IOU's will that do?

: Here's a tip: the art of the trade and deal bargaining is something that will impress Stan very much. See if you can heckle/haggle a better deal out of him, by whiddling the price down.

[Scarecrow Stan]: "Well, the wallet appears to be of fine enough a grian of leather,-You don't suppose IOUs count as a currency? Okay."

*Accepts it anyway, then adds the wallet to inventory*

*Happily starts to build robot*

If there are any little construction type jobs you need doing let me know and we'll discuss reimbursement after&

"Okie-dokey!"


[Qwi]: "It's a deal! It's a deal, from the slimy old, banana-peel!"

[Stan]: "Oy, shut up-you!"
*Beans Qwi with one of his stilts*

*looks at raven and shrugs, having seen EC swinging from a chandelier a singing raven is relatively normal*

[Qwi]: **
[Stan]: "You're my first-est customer."
*Uncorks a bottle of rum, to celebrate*

*Scarcrow Stan pours the rum into two wooden mugs w/ugly tiki faces carved into them*

[Stan]: "Do you perchance also go about stilt-walking sometimes? I was thinking about setting up a race around the Island one of these days..."

*accepts mug* Thanks

never tried stilt walking

"Yeah, that's yer memebership mug. I'm gonna give people w/one of those a discount off of rum and things. The winner to the race'll get a whole barrel of grog and their own blunderbuss."

: Oops. Argh! Typo. I meant memebership.
"I've got a cabin up in the ship too. It's the one w/a sign that says Tiki trader on it."