A Conversation for An attempt - "What is Goth?"

A391790 - An Attempt-"What is Goth?"

Post 1

Tube - the being being back for the time being

Reason for recommendation: It's the upshot of an long conversation and thus combines a large number of sources into an article which covers a lot of aspects of "Goth".


A391790 - An Attempt-"What is Goth?"

Post 2

26199

I like it... not knowing anything about Goths, Punk or indeed anything to do with culture at all, I can't comment on the accuracy... but it certainly seems well-written, clear and informative and it's definitely interesting.

I tend to wear black a lot, but only really because I can't be bothered with anything more complicated smiley - smiley

26199


A391790 - An Attempt-"What is Goth?"

Post 3

Lisa the Freak // Poet by the Toga

WOooaah!!! I feel *educated*!! That's a really good entry!!! smiley - bigeyessmiley - smileysmiley - bigeyes

Well that settles it then, I am a Goth after all, as long as it's the state of mind; I wear black a lot normally, but mainly reserve all-black for parties.
Wannabe Goths can become proper Goths..: I started out just dressing all black to scare people, live up to the Freak thing, but now it seems like something else; my state of mind has changed, *this is me*.

Lisa


Stylistic Comments

Post 4

JonBob

Nice article. Very informative. I can't comment on the accuracy of the information, but I will pass on some stylistic comments to make the Subs' job easier.

First of all, make your voice consistent. You start the article off from an objective standpoint, talking about Goth's history. midway through you begin to use a lot of personal pronouns, though: "I could name," "I would consider..." Keep away from this, as the H2G2 style guide states that articles should be written objectively (especially as you say this article is supposed to be a conglomeration of several people's comments).

Explain yourself some more. You use quite a few terms which should be either explained (a good place to use the GuideML tag) or removed. Examples: "NME", "Melody Maker" and "identikit" in paragraph 3.

You use a lot of parentheses. Not necessarily a problem, just something I noticed.

There are a number of little grammatical and spelling nits I could pick, but I'll hold off for the moment. As I said, the content of the article is fabulous. I would suggest learning GuideML and marking up the article. It's easy and will make things much more legible for us as reviewers. Best of luck polishing up the article.


Stylistic Comments

Post 5

Tube - the being being back for the time being

Yep, the style could still do with a little work due to the fact that it's a wild mix of sources. I shall fiddle about some more. smiley - winkeye


Stylistic Comments

Post 6

Tube - the being being back for the time being

Did make some changes. Any further suggestions?

smiley - smiley


Stylistic Comments

Post 7

Is mise Duncan

Not really a suggestion, more an avenue for further investigation: I think that the rise and fall and rise again of Gothic music in the UK was linked to the rises and falls of the use and abuse of Heroin. Certainly the demise of bands like "The Sisters of Mercy" has much to do with the fact that Heroin was ousted by Es as the popular drug of choice.
I, of course, was too young to know about such things first hand but have heard this theory referenced in articles on both Sisters and the Smiths.


Stylistic Comments

Post 8

Tube - the being being back for the time being

I wouldn't know about the H bit, but Sisters aren't demised or if they once were they have been resurrected (or is there anything more dead than a Goth band to start with? smiley - winkeye ). They are to be seen live on 12.8. at the M'Era Luna festival (www.meraluna.de) together with Fields of the Nephilim (13.8.).


Congratulations :-)

Post 9

Lisa the Freak // Poet by the Toga

This entry is great - and it has now gone into the Editorial Process for future inclusion in the Edited Guide!

When it does get into the Edited Guide, you'll get an email telling you.

But please note that it might take some time as it goes through the editorial process.

Nice one smiley - smiley

Lisa tF


Congratulations :-)

Post 10

Mark Moxon

Editorial note: This thread has been moved off the Peer Review page to the entry's own forums, as it has now been accepted for editing.


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