h2g2 Post 12.06.2000

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Posted: 12th June 2000

So... who said that it was simple to reconfigure a computer eh? TM was terrified at the thought of wiping his hard drive, after carefully saving most of his important files and programmes. This part of the operation was the easy part of the clean-up operation. Then he and Kheldar spent a good few nights trying to persuade the infernal machine that it did want to perform the most basic of tasks again. Why didn't the floppy want to work? Just what has happened to the ISDN connection?

Meanwhile, I was having fun of my own.After my Hard Disks had died one by one, it seemed a very good idea to scratch the lot and start again. Kheldar was, again, a big help, so I now have a big shiny 8GB to play around with. I know, I know! Not that impressive but, hey, it's an old, second-hand computer which has definitely seen better times. One word of advice though. Make sure that you save a copy of Winzip UNZIPPED! It's no fun trying to reload all your programmes and files when
you can't actually open them! Thanks to TM I also have Windows98, but it is the Dutch version
so spell-checking is still no option for me!

I finally persuaded my computer that it really wanted to recognise my printer and scanner (Hurrah!), and even managed to connect up to an analogue line.

'I'm online again at last!'

I thought. But no! I may have a connection, but the server which I am using has a Firewall
so huge that I need a veritable army of firemen to quench the flames! Oh well, maybe this week I will sort that out!

News of Interest

Cinema goers face an impossible task if they attempt to unwrap their sweets without disturbing
the rest of the audience, according to a US report.

Even the most careful unwrapping fails to reduce the noise produced, the Accoustical Society
Of America
heard! The researchers, from Simon's Rock College in Massachusetts, analysed the sounds in digital form on a computer.
'Unwrap it as quickly as possible and get it over with'

said Dr Eric Kramer

Remember the news about the baby elephant from a few weeks ago? Well, he finally arrived
weighing in at 140kg. The director of Zurich Zoo, Alex Ruebel, said that 46,000 people,
who had asked to be informed when the mother, Ceyla-Himali, went into labour, were
alerted, although no figure, as yet, has been released as to how many hits the site actually attracted.

Quotes of the Week

'Italian women, please, enough of sexy underwear when you go to the doctor. The men in
white coats are tempted every day by your provocation.'

A report in Turin's La Stampa newspaper.

Two about getting old:
'At my time of life you can practically hear the Grim Reaper around the corner, so there is
no time for frivolity'

Writer Doris Lessing, aged 80.
I can lose the sense of what I am talking about in the space of a sentence. Inanimate objects
conspire to hide themselves from me.'

Oliver Postgate, creator of Bagpuss and The Clangers
'No exchange of liquid is permitted. It's like kissing the Berlin Wall'
Helena Bonham Carter, on having to kiss Woody Allen in a film.

On with the Mottley then! Apologies to those who have sent in recipes for the POST! We will
restart this feature next week!


  • 1-2-1

  • Oh dear. It's Pastey!

  • Take5

  • The pick of this week's batch of new Guide entries.

  • Drinkies

  • Learn what's really important.

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