h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok,I don't know who to go for so my vote will go to the highest bidder.

Who will open the bidding?

A lifetime supply of Dounghnut courtesy of Joanna's Doughnut Stall.

In case you were wondering what a 'Dounghnut' is...

I believe it is a kind of nut that has grown out of a mixture of dough and dung. I didn't know Joanna carried those. In my experience, somewhere around zero of those is a lifetime supply

I'd pass on that offer, and just go to her stall and have one of her very good doughnuts.

I will pass your commendable political interest onto my esteemed (and generous) employer.

Vote Peregrin! Why not?

Two colleagues, who will remain anonymous for their own personal safety, have allowed the use of their votes also.



The current bid is free doughnuts for life from the Rt. Hon. Demon Drawer, do I hear free drinks?

My esteemed employer has authorised me to offer a mint in the flavour of your choice as long as it is mint, a balaclava in the colour of your choice and popularity with the gender of your choice. And free drinks, of course. I will be waiting at the Forum and Firkin if you wish to accept this offer of generous-gifts-that-are-not-bribes-but-you-can't-have-them-unless-you Vote for Peregrin! Why not?

Voting 'Peregrin' has been scientifically proven by Carol Vordamen to make you both more popular and attractive.
Possibly.

If not, it's worth a shot, isn't it.

Yeah but I saw Richard Whitley doing the maths.

Free drinks (anything you like), free food and a pile of chips for my Casino (check it out sometime) worth $ 100,--.

Does this look attractive enough for you Croz.

With regards Don Alfredo

It's tempting, but I'm holding out for a lot since there are three peoples votes available instead of just one

*Corrupt looking *

If you vote for Demon Drawer, I'll give you a warm fuzzy...

That is not fair!
How can I compete with that.

Vote Peregrin and get all the water you could ever want - PLUS a luxury yacht from the Waterworks' Boat Yard and a free indoor heated swimming pool, plus an outdoor swimming pool, with a free barbecue.

You are all in sain. Remember there are just three votes at steak here. There are lots of other people around who might be cheaper, or even better vote for us because they like our statements.
Let's use our minds and stop this thing before it gets out of hand.

Why do you think I'm selling my vote and a few others? I've read all your manifestos and stuff and I just can't choose.

By the way, you have the lead.







I can't wait until after the election, then I can expose the winner for purchasing my vote and get even more through the publicity...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Er, did I just say that out loud?

Yes you did, and that wasn't very wise.
My offer still stands, but I am not going any higher, ther is a limit.

I'll give you three blue pebbles that are sea-smooth if you vote Peregrin.

You can play marbles with them, put them in a line, or throw them at people.

Hmmmmmmm.........let me get in on this now. Five sea-smooth pebbles, unlimited free booze, and a multi-use water cannon you can use to do pretty much what you want with. With wheels and anti-theft device. The inhabitants of the pool will testify how useful they are in creating havoc

With all these wonderful bids I'm finding it really hard to choose, damn me for for being so underhanded

Ok, I'm closing the bidding on Saturday 12 noon BST and I'll announce the winner of the votes Saturday afternoon. That gives you all about just over 36 hours to give me your best offer.

And as a special incentive, I'll join the winners canvassing team to get more people to vote for them