h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*flies into campsite on a carpet with a smallish pale pink sparkly tent covered in big fluffy shocking pink pom-poms*

*lands at pitch 3.14159265358979323846etc. and starts erecting tent*

Hi Candi,
I see you found the Campsite. Would you like some help setting up your tent? It may be a couple of days before you are added to the official list. But, I'm pretty sure this pitch is available. Let me know if you need something. You know where to find me if you want to talk

My little sister wouldn't like your tent. She absolutely despises all things pink. Personally, I think it has a certain style about it...

Hi Evangeline, Hi Bob!

Thanks, E, if you could just hold that pole there, while I connect these two....

Perhaps your little sister would approve of this holographic sparkly razor wire fence, Bob?
I'll put that in place after the tent's up, just to remind possible unwelcome visitors I'm not as soppy and fluffy as I seem!
Don't worry, though - I'll leave a big enough gap at the entrance so none of my guests get hurt!

*holding pole in place*

Oooh pretty razor wire!

Thanks E! Careful not to cut yourself - it's quite sharp!

Right - just the last pole to connect, then the sparkly fly sheet....then the fence

Tum-te-tum!

*slips on sunglasses as the sun passes overhead and reflects on all the sparkles*

That's a very nice tent Candi.

Thank you
It is rather fine, isn't it?

*carefully puts up fence around the tent*

Now to organise my stuff on the inside.

*crawls into the tent and starts arranging sleeping bag, pots and pans, etc*

*Examines fence*
Perhaps we ought to electrify it. Those cows can get pretty curious...

Maybe.....but I wouldn't know where to start...know any electricians around here?

Electricians...don't know if we have any. Would you like some while we sort out what to do about the fence?

We have enough IT specialists, who ought to know something of wiring and electricity.

Well, I think the fence will be okay as it is for now.

Thanks, Evangeline, a cup of would be lovely

*blows up three inflatable armchairs with a foot pump, places them on the carpet and settles into one*

Ah, home comforts eh? Mmmmm! Take a seat.

Yeah, all the comforts of home and none of the discomforts...

*Pours for everyone from a large thermos*

*sits down in one of the inflatable chairs*

Oooh, it's been a long day. Nice to finally be able to relax.

*sips tea*

*sneezes*

I think I've caught a cold....

*rummages in pockets for a tissue*

Gesundheit!
*passes a handkerchief to Candi*
Would you like something for that cold? I have some herbal in my tent if you would like some.

My cold seems to have gone now....but yes, I'd love some herbal , thanks. What kind is it?

I have the usual: Cranberry, peppermint, chamomile teas as well as the medicinal: echinacea, ginseng, and ginger teas. Any sound particularly good, or should I just surprise you?

Ginger sounds good

Congratulations on getting the job of campsite manager!

Thank You.

* to pitch 24 to get ginger tea*
*collects ginger tea, lemons, honey etc...packs a basket for Candi*