h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A sand car? Can I help?!

course you can babe

Look out, Ducks, there's a dog poo in the sandpit!

Put it in the middle of the sand car, then if any of the big kids smash it up, they'll get poo on their feet!

There is no such thing as dog poo in my sand pit!!


*hands on hips in indignation*

*magically cleans sand just in case there is*

Oh Look, a nearly finished sand car!

*finishes car off, has a look around, no-one in sight, takes car and drives to ........................................................................................................................Tesco!*

Oi! You're too young to drive, you haven't got a license. Look out for Policeman Plod, he'll give you a clip round the ear if he catches you...

Have so got a license!! Here it is.......

*fumbles in pockets and produces Tufty Club membership card*

This says I'm safe on the road!!

'ello, 'ello, 'ello, whats all this then?



Miss, this here driving document appears to be fake. Come with me, my girl, to the station.

NO! My mummy warned me about going off with strange men in parks!

Ouch, that's police brutality, that is!!

*goes to phone lawyer and sue PC Plod!*

Let it go Deaks, it's not worth it

Are you going to push me on the swings? I wanna go so high, that I flip over the top and come back round again

Come on then. I'll push you.

*hides turbo booster swing pusher behind back*

How high did you want to go?

I wanna go as high as the moon!!

Come on Deakie, push, harder....

That's normally my line!

C'mon Deaks I wanna go higher and higher!!

*pushes DDD so hard he spins over the top of the bar, back to where he started. And then he falls off. Into the dog poo on the grass in front of the swings. And then he cries*

I don't like you anymore! NORTY NASTY Deakie!