h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No I don't, I just said it didn't look like a bat cave!

Now over there ------------------->, that looks like a bat cave

*points to a load of bushes in the corner which rise up as she points, allowing the boys to see into a proper Batcave with slidy down chairs and tubes and electronic thingummyjigs and a batmobile and a bat helichopter and a bloke who looks a lot like Alfred standing in the doorway*

Don't you wanna use that one instead, C?

wooo!

*drops duck and batarangs to the batcave*

wow!

*gets in the batmobile and does a few laps of the playground, drives back to the Batcave and get out and plays with the big computers*

C, the bat cave is just a skanky old bush - she was fibbing again...

*presses a button on the big computer, a large net shoots out and covers DDD*

shows what he knows.

thanks for pointing it out, Deaks!

Ah ha!!

*batarangs the spray out of DDD's hand, and then batarangs DDD's utility belt off him. his trousers fall down to reveal Simpsons pants, much to Deakie's delight.*

that'll teach you.

Hmmmmmmm, fighting again C?

i was jus' playing in my bat cave, right, then DDD said it wasn't real, and it is and he's lying, so i shot a net at him and he got rid of it and was gonna get me, so i got him with me batarangs but i wasn't fighting.

honest.



didn't no nuffin

or do nuffin

Now, don't be calling people liars cos thats not nice!

All you need to do is this.............................

*clips DDD round the lug hole for teasing C and for trying to kill him with CCC destroying spray*

There, all sorted, now play together like good boys!

*and then clips D again for wearing Simpsons pants!!!!!!*

I HATE YOU!!!!

*scuttles back to the batcave*

blimey, deaks can deal with that!

*clips DDD again for saying that he hates anyone*

Thats not nice!

And if you keep whinging, then I'll give you something to really cry about!

*taps buttons on the batcomputer, trying to not look at DDD*

Alfred, make me a cup of tea please.

*Alfred goes to make me a cup of tea*

Ha!!! That'll learn you....

*gives Deakie a lift out of the playground in the bathelicopter*

if you need to get back in just shine this light.

*gives Deakie a batsignal, goes back to batcave, picking Duck up on the way*

The correct English grammatical phrase is "that will teach you", not "that'll learn you"

And don't stomp Dear, you'll scuff your shoes!

*looks round batcave*

bit dark in here innit?

oh look at that puter

*turns puter on*

*googles for Ikea*

do you want hidden lighting or just lamps and stuff???

*see's the BatCard, Picks it up, reads on back "Unlimeted Credit"



*starts to order stuff*

*budges Duck up on the chair and looks to see what she can order too!*

Ooooh, how bout a new fitted kitchen for Alfred?