h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Grand Theft Auto Vice City - A3625689
Author: EchidnaZ - U203681

I'm told this doesn't meet the edited guide requirements (even when written without the first person bits) so I'm submitting it here.

Only because we felt that a review wasn't impartial enough to be in the EG mind...

Do you have Microsoft Word or similar? You might want to double check some of the spelling and grammar whilst you wait for people to comment.

Kats

I used a word processor when I first wrote it. Did you notice any errors in it? I thought it was all correct.

There are grammar errors at least I think. Sorry I only gave it a quick look through as am busy rushing around packing for an aeroplane.

Not suitable for the EG, eh?
It could have been. The Guideline transgressions, those I can see anyway, aren't fundamental.

Anyhow, here in AWW, the criteria are different. Here we want stimulating creative writing.

You should certainly start by losing the spec details at the end. Nobody even reads them off the box side, do they? Let alone in a game review.

After that, it's got promise, but it's a little bit between the two forums. It was nearly straight enough for PR, which maybe means it's nearly too straight for AWW. In this forum, if you choose to do so, you can make your Entry as off the wall as you like.

Just my opinion, but I'd say this is too straight for its subject and the way you feel to seem about its subject.

If I were you, I'd try some high energy writing and try to make the pace of the piece convey the feel of the game.

Pin

Pin between us we'll start scaring people off!!! Me saying in PR that something isn't right for the EG and you saying it isn't right for the AWW!

That's like when I tried to donate a sofabed to a charity and they said they wouldn't be able to sell it as it wasn't in good enough condition but they couldn't give it away because it was a luxury item, so they refused to take it. I ended up throwing it out.

Pin: I thought that was what I was doing. I've written articles in a much more boring, matter of fact way than that

Hey, EchidnaZ

If it's the way YOU want it, that's .

I certainly didn't mean it's no good for AWW. It's of a good (better than average, only saying that's non-PC too) standard.

I was just saying what I'd do with it, in case the suggestion appealed. Of course it's not a straight as it might have been. It's just that the tyres don't squeal as it goes round corners.

And Kat, any crit is always better that none. Let's just say what we think, all of us, and be true to ourselves. And that's too.

Pin

I have a sofa like that in my garage. Maybe we should get them together...

Okaaayyy heading back to the entry rather than poor love-lorn sofas

I would agree with Pin that there's not much point in putting all the specs at the bottom. Although if you think you would like to put something, as us old computer users can ask too much of our machines, then a quick sum-up could be a good thing.

Perhaps you could mention the other GTA3 games, or other games that are similar, in case the reader has played them so they can get some idea of the style or content. Many people choose games based on what people who have bought a game they play have then gone on to buy. And if they have got hold of an older version then they may want to know if buying Vice City will be moving on to bigger and better things.

How easy are all the controls to use? can you alter which keys control what? Can you use a joystick? If so which is easier? keys or stick?

You spend a paragraph talking about the vehicles, but I'd like to know more about the general details of the game maybe. You could mention the gangs, the different parts of the city that become available, how difficult and lasting the game is...that sort of thing.

You've focused on the computer game here, which is understandable seeing as that's what you play, but it might be a good idea to mention that the game is also available in a different system, although perhaps you don't want to cover that. The game is internationally certified as an R-18 game I think, so it might be worth investigating that just in case. Also I would scrap the pricing bit...that will change and of course it doesn't take special offers etc into account and is only a useful guideline if I live in Australia unfortunately.

I really enjoyed Vice City and it's good to see a review of it and I think that with a bit of work this could be a really informative compelling read. Currently though I'm not being grabbed to play the game which is a shame because it's great. I'm also not being repelled though...I'm sort of...meh about it. So perhaps a bit more of a punch in it? What do other people think? I may read it like this because I've already had the game a long time.

There's a few nitty gritty picky things which I can pick up on later if you like after you're happy with the content, but they aren't important and don't make the review unreadable or anything so I wouldn't worry at all

Hope some of this was useful, if not then do actually say

Kats

Kats! you beat me to it.

Just one more thing: I think that there are two ways you can polish this entry - right now it reads a little inconsistently. One way to go is, as Kat says, to make it more experiential - tell us more about your experience with the game, any tips you might have to share with newcomers, or fans of the other GTA games.

The other way, I think, is to make it more consistently neutral - less of the "When I played this game..." intertwined with the article, because it gets difficult for a reader to separate your opinion of the game from the description of the game itself. I guess that would make it more PR worthy, if that's you want...

~ db

I've made some changes to it (which included pinching some ideas from GodBen's entry).

EchidnaZ...

Here's a thought (just a little someting for your spare time, I suppose): try rewriting your GTA-VC review from the POV of your in-the-game persona (or, indeed, one of the "other" characters in the game). Might put a new spin on the old tyres.

-----

And, Kat... If the two sofas DO get together, will that mean a litter of little loveseats living in the garage, as well?

-----

m

I though that was what I was doing.

Does anyone have any further comments to make?

Yeah, stop pinching my ideas.

As my last (and only) comment was swept aside with (IMHO) a less-than-introspective "I thought that's what I was doing," I'm afraid I'm now comment free.

Good luck with the piece.

m

Hi Echidnaz, I didn't comment before because what I'd have said had already been said really. But here goes anyway...

It was an easy read all the way through and that's testimony to its writing quality and readability given that I'm not a computer game player . As a review it's good (almost tempted me to try one of these games), I don't think you need to do anything with it, especially if it fulfills what you wanted it to be.

If you're asking for comment from the point of view of it being picked for the Underguide, that's slightly different, (in my opinion, others may disagree). It's fine on writing quality, it's entertaining and your enthusiasm for the game shows but it suffers in the way many 'almost EG' entries do - it's up against pieces that provoke more reaction in readers. Those entries have a more direct appeal and are more likely to get nominated. Getting into the UG is competitive and probably more subjective than getting picked for the EG.

On the other hand the UG needs a mix of genre and style and maybe a couple of miners will think this just fit's the bill sometime. Or you could experiment in giving it more tyre screeching quality, trying Pin and m's suggestions maybe, to attract a miner's pick.

Got to say too that there are other places for non EG entries - the h2g2 Post and AGG/GAG/CACC, for two. And of course, it doesn't need selecting for anything. It's a good h2g2 entry as it stands.
Waz

I offered it to Shazz for The Post and she liked it. I'll remove it from the AWW.