h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's getting tough at the top. Frenchbean somewhat dashingly moves back to the top of the table, inspired by her captain's six second-innings wickets against New Zealand, and Organcheese and the Over and Outs both move about Alfredo as well. It's so close, though, that less than 400 points cover the top five.

At the bottom, a good week for Mu Beta finally gets his side off the bottom, at the expense of his old foe Megachedda. The Big Cheese is faring far better in the ProPhortyPhifty, moving to within touching distance of AndyG at the top with a superb haul of points. New Pork Hankies also show well in a rain-affected week.

***

Next week, I'll let you know what's going to happen about the mid-season transfer window, when you'll have an opportunity to tinker with your squads, and give you details of this year's Twenty20 Cup.

Hell - I've already done a lot of tinkering with my squad. Mostly positive tinkering, thankfully.

I don't think I can count Megachedda as an 'old foe', given as how he is a) not old, and b) not well enough equipped to enter a long-standing feud with me.

B

Erm...I've also just noticed that I've been without a captain for the past five weeks, which can hardly be helping my points tally.

In the spirit of cricket, I feel the League Chair should have reminded me of this, but I doubt I'll get any retrospective points.

I'll take a gamble and appoint Nadeem Malik as my captain. With immediate effect, please, as he is currently a nightwatchman and due to bowl against Glamorgan tomorrow.

B

Twent20 details are at F6833120?thread=5518619 - I sorted it out early, because I've just realised I have to be careful with the timing.

'Captaincy. Your nominated captain scores double bonus points for batting and bowling landmarks as above. Choose your captain carefully, as you are not permitted to change him until the transfer window.'

It's not my fault that you sacked yours, I'm afraid. If I'd been playing, I'd have checked that my captain would be turning up before selecting him. You can pick a new skipper during the Twenty20 window.

Well, you miserable bugger. Don't expect any favourable decisions during PP Season Six.

B

We generally don't.

You should expect, on average, one-fifteenth more favourable decisions.

B

I've been bloody generous enough already. You've only paid 0.3 million for the bad decisions you released earlier in the season. And I didn't see a lot of pre-emptive back-scratching going on last season in PP...

Anyway, the reason I've limited changes this year is purely because of time. I'm away too much in the summer to have much of a home life, let alone spend even more time on FK. If I let you change your captain, I wouldn't be able to turn down anyone else, would I?

I think, as it is, it's a good balance between giving captains a bit of flexibility in terms of making changes, and not having the whole thing take over my life. We'll see if that's true after my camps begin this week.

It's not a case of changing my captain; it's a case of actually having one in the first place.

And, speaking as someone who is expected to teach recalcitrant teenagers all day Monday-Friday and dig the allotment all weekend, your lifestyle factors are unlikely to hold much sway.

B

fisticuffs at dawn

I do like being described as dashing. Thanks Ump

It is a change of captain, because you chose Chanderpaul. And I'm not trying to sway anything with my 'lifestyle factors'; it's just that I work three jobs through the summer, one of which involves looking after senile adults and another chasing rogue children endlessly around woods. I don't get a day off and don't have a lot of time to spare anyway. I'm happy to spend time doing this as long as I get cut a little slack once in a while, but if you're going to get arsey about your own mistakes I'm far less inclined to bother.

http://content-aus.cricinfo.com/engvrsa/content/current/story/361602.html

Where do I get these points then?

Never had you down as a lover of South African cricket, Trout.