h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's apparent you're clueless about metal. I'm almost totally the opposite of how you described metal
fans. I'm quite intelligent, reasonably well dressed and educated. I find metal to be both complex and melodic.
Sure there's alot of crap in the genre, but the same could be said about any modern genre of music. The
trick in metal is to not only use vast amounts of distotion, but to control it- to create order in chaos. A good
metal band knows how to create powerful and melodic (and often harmonic) music with heavy distortion and
intensly fast tempos. This is how one can tell the difference between a skilled and unskilled musician in
the genre. Personally I think metal to be far superior to rock music. It makes time changes, complex chord
progressions and polyrhythmic drums a staple of its sound- rock's still farting around with common time,
simple rythms and ultimately non harmonic melodies. There's metal bands playing around with chromatic,
diatonic and raga scales (not rock's pentonic spiel), nonsymmetrical times and polyphony. Rock, on the
other hand, has touched nothing outside simple blues influence since the mid seventies. And too bad for
rock. Metal progresses constantly. I'm listening to a band called Haggard right now- it's a metal band with
fouteen members (with cello, flute, harp, crumhorn, harpsichord, piano, oboe, clarinet, soprano voice, viola,
violin etc.). They use advanced polyphony and mix baroque influences fluidly with metal. But I shant
continue. What's the point. I'll just get upset- and that would jutst be ridiculous. So, ta!

JMS

Haggard (or whatever) sound a bit like Rapsody and Therion, two of the greatests Symphonic Metal bands around!

Please tell me more.

God, get over it! Metal is and always has been faintly ridiculous. Stop being so defensive about it. It's big dumb loud rock music and that's what's great about it, so don't go warbling on about polyrhythms cos you sound, oh just a little bit sad. If you want polyrhythms, listen to Squarepusher.

You must be listening to some crappy metal then....

I bet you like Cradle Of Filth, don't you.....

Nope, not one bit!

Decent band, but a bit melodramatic and juvenlile for my tastes. Metal can be quite silly, but I tend to avoid that portion of the scene.

Since you don't know me or anything about my background, don't you think guessing my exact tastes, or the exact reasons I like something, is kind of a gamble?

I listen to a anything ranging from metal, industrial, ethereal ambient, j-pop, good ol' rock n' roll, prog rock, noise, neo-folk, bebop, etc. I'm not a metal scenster, if that's what you think.

Some metal bands I like:

Fleurety
Angizia
Korova
In the Woods
Cynic
Opeth
Madder Mortem
As Divine Grace
Dark Tranquility
Amorphis
Stille Volk
Nightwish
Haggard
Esoteric
Empyrium
Katatonia

What about Sepultura? Mudvayne? Faith No More? System Of A Down? Slayer? Fantomas? Shellac, the Jesus Lizard, Mr Bungle, Queens Of The Stone Age, Kyuss, At The Drive-In, ...And You Will Know Them By The Trail Of Dead.....y'know? Good stuff?

Of those, I like early Sepultura, Faith No More (particularly "Angel Dust"), Fantomas, Mr. Bungle, and Kyuss. I haven't heard Mudvayne, At the Drive In, or The Jesus Lizard. Everything else is okay by me, but not exactly favorites. Do you dig Secret Chiefs 3 at all?

Ugh, Pedro...apart from Slayer (who haven't released at good album for at least 10 years), those bands either aren't even Metal or are borderline at best. Best not to try and poke holes in other peoples' taste if you don't know what you're talking about.